When you're a new mom, your baby's health is your primary concern. Coupled with the anxiety of wanting to do everything right in caring for your new infant, your own health suddenly takes a backseat. This should not be the case. How else can you care for your child if you're not in top shape?
The state of your postnatal health is crucial to your ability to breastfeed your baby. When you're feeling poorly, this affects your milk supply. And when you neglect to care for your own breasts, you and your baby will become quite uncomfortable during his feeding time. Take it from me: I didn't bother at first with those nipple creams, thinking that I didn't really need them. But pretty soon, they started getting really sore and eventually cracked. Breastfeeding became quite painful for me and not so enjoyable for my baby, who didn't like sucking on a dry, rough nipple.
I learned my lesson quite well. Before giving birth to my second child, I already prepared myself for breastfeeding duties. I did this by reading maternity books and here are some breast care tips for all women out there who are expecting their first babies and planning to breastfeed them.
Daily washing of nipples – Clean your nipples daily but avoid using soap because it strips away the natural oils that protect the skin from drying and cracking, and it can aggravate a sore and cracked nipple. Always treat your breasts with care — don't rub them dry for gently pat them dry instead.
There is no need to wash your nipples before or after each feed but, before you fasten or put on your bra after feeding, let your nipples dry in the air, and always wash your hands before handling your breasts in order to prevent infection.
Engorgement - About 3 or 4 days after you have given birth, your breasts will fill with milk. They will become larger and heavier, and feel tender and warm when you touch them. If they overfill it is known as engorgement. Engorgement usually only lasts a day or two, but it can be uncomfortable and may recur.
To ease engorged breasts, take off milk by manual expression or by feeding your baby. In addition, you may find that it helps to bathe them with warm water or cover them with warm towels, or to strike them gently but firmly towards the nipple.
Engorgement can recur at any time during the period of breastfeeding, particularly if your breasts are never properly emptied or if your baby misses a feed.
Blocked ducts - A blocked duct may occur in the early weeks of breastfeeding. It may result from engorgement, from a bra that is too tight, or from dried secretions on the nipple tip blocking a nipple opening. If you get a blockage, your breast will feel tender and lumpy and there may be reddening of the skin.
To clear a blocked duct, start the feeds with the affected breast and gently massage it just above the sore area while feeding to ease the milk gently towards the nipple. If the blockage will not clear, don't offer the breast to your baby and consult your doctor immediately as it could become infected and result in a breast abscess, which is painful, although not a catastrophe.
Sore nipples – When you begin breastfeeding, your nipples may feel slightly tender for the first minute or so of sucking. This tenderness is quite normal, and it usually disappears after a few days. Sore nipples, however, are a common problem in the early weeks and can turn what should be a pleasure into something of an ordeal. Incorrect latching on and carelessness when taking your baby off your breast are the Principal causes of sore and cracked nipples, but taking care to start and finish feeding Properly can prevent these problems arising, and is essential if they are to heal after they have become sore or cracked.
Sore nipples heal quickly when they are exposed to the air so; if possible, go topless or braless occasionally, especially when resting, in order to let the air circulate over them.
Cracked nipples - If a sore nipple becomes cracked, you may need to keep the baby off' that breast up to 72 hours and express milk from the breast to avoid engorgement. Cracked nipples can be very painful, and they can lead to breast infection. To help avoid cracked nipples, apply a drop of baby lotion to your breast pad.
Mastitis - The first signs of mastitis (breast infection) are swelling, tenderness, and reddening of the affected area, accompanied by flu-like symptoms, which can include a high temperature, chills, aches, headaches, and perhaps nausea and vomiting. If you think you have developed an infection,- contact your doctor, if treated promptly with antibiotics, mastitis usually subsides within a day or so. You cannot pass the infection on to your baby, because it only affects your breast tissue, not your milk.
Read more...
Road Safety tips for Schoolers
Educating our children on how to protect themselves while bound for school is a must. Proper information equip our children on how to avoid accidents and provide us peace of mind as they wave their hands goodbye to start off their day.
Riding the Bus
School bus transportation is safe. In fact, buses are safer than cars! Some accidents occur as pupils are entering and exiting the bus. Here are some safety tips you can tell your children:
1. Have a safe place to wait for your bus, away from traffic and the street.
2. Stay away from the bus until it comes to a complete stop and the driver signals you to enter.
3. When being dropped off, exit the bus and walk ten giant steps away from the bus. Keep a safe distance between you and the bus. Also, remember that the bus driver can see you best when you are back away from the bus.
4. Use the handrail to enter and exit the bus.
5. Stay away from the bus until the driver gives his/her signal that it's okay to approach.
6. Be aware of the street traffic around you. Drivers are required to follow certain rules of the road concerning school buses, however, not all do. Protect yourself and watch out.
Walking and Biking to School
Even if you don't ride in a motor vehicle, you still have to protect yourself. Because of minimal supervision, young pedestrians face a wide variety of decisions making situations and dangers while walking to and from school.
1. Mind all traffic, signals, and or the crossing guard —never cross the street against a light, even if you don't see any traffic coming.
2. Walk your bike through intersections.
3. Walk with a buddy.
4. Wear reflective material, it makes you more visible to street traffic.
Riding in a Car
You might have heard before that most traffic crashes occur close to home ... they really do.
Here are a few safety measures.
1. Wear safety belts. Safety belts are the best form of protection passengers have in the event of a crash. They can lower your risk of injury by 45%. You are four times more likely to be seriously injured or killed if ejected from the vehicle in a crash.
2. Everyone needs to be buckled up properly. That means older kids in seat belts, younger kids in booster seats and little kids in child safety seats.
Read more...
Riding the Bus
School bus transportation is safe. In fact, buses are safer than cars! Some accidents occur as pupils are entering and exiting the bus. Here are some safety tips you can tell your children:
1. Have a safe place to wait for your bus, away from traffic and the street.
2. Stay away from the bus until it comes to a complete stop and the driver signals you to enter.
3. When being dropped off, exit the bus and walk ten giant steps away from the bus. Keep a safe distance between you and the bus. Also, remember that the bus driver can see you best when you are back away from the bus.
4. Use the handrail to enter and exit the bus.
5. Stay away from the bus until the driver gives his/her signal that it's okay to approach.
6. Be aware of the street traffic around you. Drivers are required to follow certain rules of the road concerning school buses, however, not all do. Protect yourself and watch out.
Walking and Biking to School
Even if you don't ride in a motor vehicle, you still have to protect yourself. Because of minimal supervision, young pedestrians face a wide variety of decisions making situations and dangers while walking to and from school.
1. Mind all traffic, signals, and or the crossing guard —never cross the street against a light, even if you don't see any traffic coming.
2. Walk your bike through intersections.
3. Walk with a buddy.
4. Wear reflective material, it makes you more visible to street traffic.
Riding in a Car
You might have heard before that most traffic crashes occur close to home ... they really do.
Here are a few safety measures.
1. Wear safety belts. Safety belts are the best form of protection passengers have in the event of a crash. They can lower your risk of injury by 45%. You are four times more likely to be seriously injured or killed if ejected from the vehicle in a crash.
2. Everyone needs to be buckled up properly. That means older kids in seat belts, younger kids in booster seats and little kids in child safety seats.
Read more...
Is Home Schooling Effective?
How do you describe home schooling? In the United States, it is a growing trend championed by parents who believe that the best education a child can receive is available in his or her own living room, not in the traditional classroom.
Home schooling is winning more advocates every year. Home schoolers have sprouted in Australia, Canada, England, Germany, Japan, and New Zealand, indicating that interest in home schooling is spreading around the globe.
In its basic concept, home schooling is not as radical as it may seem. "Home, not the school, was the original educational system," suggest Raymond and Dorothy Moore in their book Home-Spun Schools. "Until the 18th century, most children who went to school started at twelve or later."
Notable persons, such as George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, Thomas Jefferson, Thomas Edison, and Albert Einstein, were schooled at home. In fact, compulsory-school attendance laws were not introduced in the United States until late in the 19th century. So, according to author and home-school parent Kerri Bennett Williamson, home schooling is not just a recent fad, but "an old educational standard." Indeed, home schooling was the standard for most people in Biblical times.
Why are so many parents making the decision to teach their children at home?
Religious Reasons
The National Catholic Reporter estimates that from 50 to 90 percent of U.S. parents who practice home schooling do so for religious reasons. These parents are generally concerned about protecting their children from what they perceive as atheistic influence in the schools. "The backbone of the home-school movement is the Christian Fundamentalist community, which believes that religion is either abused or ignored in the classroom," said Time Magazine.
Damaging Immoral Influences
Other parents have pulled their children from public schools to safeguard them from exposure to damaging immoral influences at an early age. "Things were getting pretty out of hand with immorality in the schools," said one man who decided several years ago that he and his wife, would school their children at home. "We were concerned about our children and about the sad state of affairs in the school."
Educational Rather than Ideological
Sometimes, parents choose home schooling for educational rather than ideological reasons. They are fed up with overcrowded classrooms, low academic standards, and safety problems prevalent in many public schools. Disappointed by the often lackluster results of institutional teaching, they believe that they can help their children more by giving the one-on-one attention that home schooling makes possible.
Parents Involvement
Explaining why some prefer home schooling, the book Home Schools: An Alternative states: "Parents (who school at home) have 100% involvement with their children . . . They can devote their attention to their own child's education."
Does It Work?
Those who advocate home schooling say that children learn more effectively at home because lessons are woven into many aspects of the family's' daily activity. "Many families begin with a mathematics textbook, but then discover that lessons can be learned through everyday experiences. Shopping and checkbook balancing for example can help their students comprehend money management, while home repairs make an excellent primer in measurement," said an educator.
Some studies have shown that home schoolers generally earn scores at or above the national average on standardized achievement tests. But such results do not necessarily prove that home schoolers are better off than conventionally schooled children.
The Criticisms
Home schooling is not without its critics. Many school officials have expressed concern over the inconsistent quality of education being offered through home-school efforts. The Time Magazine puts it this way "Good intentions do not automatically translate into solid education.*'
• Parents may not be capable of providing adequate home education. According to NEA's (National Education Association) official position statement, "Home schooling programs cannot provide the student with a comprehensive educational experience."
• Home-schooled children are too isolated and are deprived of normal interaction with other children their own age.
Advocates Objection
• Parents don't need college credentials to be good teachers. "Parents need not know all the answers in order to encourage their children to seek answers to their own questions," says the book Home Schooling —Answering Questions. Children can be directed to appropriate source materials. Parents and children can learn together. And where advanced training or expertise is required, private tutors can be hired on a part-time basis.
• "Children are not socially isolated," said Brian Ray, director of the National Home Education Research Institute. "Home schoolers usually take -field trips to the zoo or to the
museum. They play in the neighborhood just like other children. The idea that. they're locked up in a closed room from eight in the morning until ten at night just isn't right."
The Challenges
• Commitment
Home schooling takes "not just courage, but stamina, inventiveness and steady nerves," says Christianity Today. So if you are contemplating home schooling, think realistically about the commitment involved. Diligent effort and good organization will be needed to keep up with chores and other family responsibilities in addition to providing a daily academic program for the children. "You might be working so hard you'll feel like quitting," Ray said. "It's very demanding."
• Home-Schooling Laws
For example, in the United States, home schooling is legal in all 50 states, but the levels of regulation vary considerably. In some places, teaching your child at home simply means notifying
the local school superintendent and filling out a one-page form. In other states, a parent must be a certified teacher to qualify for
home schooling. Determine what local policy is so that you can comply with all the legal requirements.
Read more...
Home schooling is winning more advocates every year. Home schoolers have sprouted in Australia, Canada, England, Germany, Japan, and New Zealand, indicating that interest in home schooling is spreading around the globe.
In its basic concept, home schooling is not as radical as it may seem. "Home, not the school, was the original educational system," suggest Raymond and Dorothy Moore in their book Home-Spun Schools. "Until the 18th century, most children who went to school started at twelve or later."
Notable persons, such as George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, Thomas Jefferson, Thomas Edison, and Albert Einstein, were schooled at home. In fact, compulsory-school attendance laws were not introduced in the United States until late in the 19th century. So, according to author and home-school parent Kerri Bennett Williamson, home schooling is not just a recent fad, but "an old educational standard." Indeed, home schooling was the standard for most people in Biblical times.
Why are so many parents making the decision to teach their children at home?
Religious Reasons
The National Catholic Reporter estimates that from 50 to 90 percent of U.S. parents who practice home schooling do so for religious reasons. These parents are generally concerned about protecting their children from what they perceive as atheistic influence in the schools. "The backbone of the home-school movement is the Christian Fundamentalist community, which believes that religion is either abused or ignored in the classroom," said Time Magazine.
Damaging Immoral Influences
Other parents have pulled their children from public schools to safeguard them from exposure to damaging immoral influences at an early age. "Things were getting pretty out of hand with immorality in the schools," said one man who decided several years ago that he and his wife, would school their children at home. "We were concerned about our children and about the sad state of affairs in the school."
Educational Rather than Ideological
Sometimes, parents choose home schooling for educational rather than ideological reasons. They are fed up with overcrowded classrooms, low academic standards, and safety problems prevalent in many public schools. Disappointed by the often lackluster results of institutional teaching, they believe that they can help their children more by giving the one-on-one attention that home schooling makes possible.
Parents Involvement
Explaining why some prefer home schooling, the book Home Schools: An Alternative states: "Parents (who school at home) have 100% involvement with their children . . . They can devote their attention to their own child's education."
Does It Work?
Those who advocate home schooling say that children learn more effectively at home because lessons are woven into many aspects of the family's' daily activity. "Many families begin with a mathematics textbook, but then discover that lessons can be learned through everyday experiences. Shopping and checkbook balancing for example can help their students comprehend money management, while home repairs make an excellent primer in measurement," said an educator.
Some studies have shown that home schoolers generally earn scores at or above the national average on standardized achievement tests. But such results do not necessarily prove that home schoolers are better off than conventionally schooled children.
The Criticisms
Home schooling is not without its critics. Many school officials have expressed concern over the inconsistent quality of education being offered through home-school efforts. The Time Magazine puts it this way "Good intentions do not automatically translate into solid education.*'
• Parents may not be capable of providing adequate home education. According to NEA's (National Education Association) official position statement, "Home schooling programs cannot provide the student with a comprehensive educational experience."
• Home-schooled children are too isolated and are deprived of normal interaction with other children their own age.
Advocates Objection
• Parents don't need college credentials to be good teachers. "Parents need not know all the answers in order to encourage their children to seek answers to their own questions," says the book Home Schooling —Answering Questions. Children can be directed to appropriate source materials. Parents and children can learn together. And where advanced training or expertise is required, private tutors can be hired on a part-time basis.
• "Children are not socially isolated," said Brian Ray, director of the National Home Education Research Institute. "Home schoolers usually take -field trips to the zoo or to the
museum. They play in the neighborhood just like other children. The idea that. they're locked up in a closed room from eight in the morning until ten at night just isn't right."
The Challenges
• Commitment
Home schooling takes "not just courage, but stamina, inventiveness and steady nerves," says Christianity Today. So if you are contemplating home schooling, think realistically about the commitment involved. Diligent effort and good organization will be needed to keep up with chores and other family responsibilities in addition to providing a daily academic program for the children. "You might be working so hard you'll feel like quitting," Ray said. "It's very demanding."
• Home-Schooling Laws
For example, in the United States, home schooling is legal in all 50 states, but the levels of regulation vary considerably. In some places, teaching your child at home simply means notifying
the local school superintendent and filling out a one-page form. In other states, a parent must be a certified teacher to qualify for
home schooling. Determine what local policy is so that you can comply with all the legal requirements.
Read more...
7 Ways to Teach Your Toddler How to Talk
Melinda’s first daughter Czarina was an early talker. Even at 14 months old she was already attempting to tell stories to us, albeit in an unintelligible way. But the effort was there and it paid off sooner than expected. Before she turned two she was already reciting short bedtime stories by rote. Though the delivery was jumbled a bit, we could make out which story she was narrating from the book.
One fellow mom asked her: "What's your secret?"
Melinda told her she merely chalked it up to the fact that everybody in the household was so damn talkative. Yup, Czarina grew up to a cacophony of chats, debates and opinions thrown around like water gushing out of a busted pipe. It also helped that they didn't use baby talk on her. Even when she was so small she could barely roll on her crib, they spoke plain, straight English when addressing her: "Would you like mama to carry you?" instead of some other truncated version. So in effect, they were mentoring her from the very beginning to construct full sentences, not to mention to be outspoken (which gets her in trouble with me and her dad, but that's for another article).
Nowadays, there are plenty of toddlers who aren't as talkative as parents expect them to be. While it could be attributed to shyness, there's also a chance that the child wasn't stimulated enough to develop his or her verbal skills. If this is so in your own child's case, you can help jumpstart him into talking by following these tips:
1. Talk a lot to your child. For children to learn a language, they must hear it spoken often. To get a child to talk, you have to talk. During the day, comment on things going on in your child's environment. Describe the colors and shapes of things, objects around them, and tasks you are doing. Point out people in the neighborhood like the mailman or bank clerk. Talk as long as your child shows interest. If he turns away or appears inattentive, stop. Don't give your toddler a case of auditory overload!
2. Read plenty of books. For toddlers, select picture and pop-up books. Take time to point out objects in the pictures and give simple commentary and explanations on what your child is seeing. Also get books with simple-to-follow stories and ear-catching rhymes. Re-read the books often. Repetition is a key to learning.
3. Sing. Children are naturally drawn to music and will pay attention to simple songs. Sing, play a musical instrument, or use a sing-along tape. Include hand-clapping and finger-play activities such as Pat-a-Cake or The Itsy-Bitsy Spider. Music helps children acquire the rhythm of spoken language. Pleas-ant jingles and repetitive lyrics are natural memory tools that help a child pick up new words and concepts.
4. Label things. Putting labels on commonly seen and used objects helps a child recognize written language, and make associations between words and things. Put labels on toys, clothes, furniture, eating utensils, your mailbox, etc. Reinforce the words by repeating them and then asking your toddler to say them too. ("This is your cup. Can you say cup?") Expand your child's experiences. Long before children speak, they acquire a receptive vocabulary — a storehouse of words and concepts they understand before they can speak. Taking them to a wide variety of places and talking in simple language about what you see, helps to build your toddler's storehouse of language. Go to the supermarket, doctor, playground, post office, bank, zoo, and mall. Reinforce what you experience with a follow-up book, drawing, song, or creative bedtime story.
5. Ask questions. Researchers have found that asking a child questions is a great way to jumpstart her language development. Even if your toddler can't give a verbal response, ask questions anyway, and give her opportunity to point, nod yes or no, or attempt a vocalization. Try simple questions like, "Do you want to have some milk now?" Be sure to pause and be attentive to encourage a response. As your toddler develops better communication skills, try asking questions that offer a choice. "Do you want your book or your ball?"
6. Keep it simple. Speak audibly, clearly and slowly. Use simple words and short sentences. Communicating in this manner makes it easier for your toddler to understand you and to parrot your words and speech patterns. Use adult words, not baby talk. Using cute mispronunciations that will need to be corrected later on will only confuse your child.
7. Keep up the dialogue. When your toddler speaks to you, reply in some fashion, even if you don't understand what he is saying. A response of "Is that so?" or "Isn't that interesting?" will keep a toddler engaged in the conversation and will motivate him keep trying to communicate. Give your child your full attention. Make eye contact. Listen, reply, and give him an opportunity to speak again. Oftentimes, children feel left out of conversations and slighted or ignored. Letting your child have the floor sometimes will encourage his self-expression and accelerate his language skills.
Read more...
One fellow mom asked her: "What's your secret?"
Melinda told her she merely chalked it up to the fact that everybody in the household was so damn talkative. Yup, Czarina grew up to a cacophony of chats, debates and opinions thrown around like water gushing out of a busted pipe. It also helped that they didn't use baby talk on her. Even when she was so small she could barely roll on her crib, they spoke plain, straight English when addressing her: "Would you like mama to carry you?" instead of some other truncated version. So in effect, they were mentoring her from the very beginning to construct full sentences, not to mention to be outspoken (which gets her in trouble with me and her dad, but that's for another article).
Nowadays, there are plenty of toddlers who aren't as talkative as parents expect them to be. While it could be attributed to shyness, there's also a chance that the child wasn't stimulated enough to develop his or her verbal skills. If this is so in your own child's case, you can help jumpstart him into talking by following these tips:
1. Talk a lot to your child. For children to learn a language, they must hear it spoken often. To get a child to talk, you have to talk. During the day, comment on things going on in your child's environment. Describe the colors and shapes of things, objects around them, and tasks you are doing. Point out people in the neighborhood like the mailman or bank clerk. Talk as long as your child shows interest. If he turns away or appears inattentive, stop. Don't give your toddler a case of auditory overload!
2. Read plenty of books. For toddlers, select picture and pop-up books. Take time to point out objects in the pictures and give simple commentary and explanations on what your child is seeing. Also get books with simple-to-follow stories and ear-catching rhymes. Re-read the books often. Repetition is a key to learning.
3. Sing. Children are naturally drawn to music and will pay attention to simple songs. Sing, play a musical instrument, or use a sing-along tape. Include hand-clapping and finger-play activities such as Pat-a-Cake or The Itsy-Bitsy Spider. Music helps children acquire the rhythm of spoken language. Pleas-ant jingles and repetitive lyrics are natural memory tools that help a child pick up new words and concepts.
4. Label things. Putting labels on commonly seen and used objects helps a child recognize written language, and make associations between words and things. Put labels on toys, clothes, furniture, eating utensils, your mailbox, etc. Reinforce the words by repeating them and then asking your toddler to say them too. ("This is your cup. Can you say cup?") Expand your child's experiences. Long before children speak, they acquire a receptive vocabulary — a storehouse of words and concepts they understand before they can speak. Taking them to a wide variety of places and talking in simple language about what you see, helps to build your toddler's storehouse of language. Go to the supermarket, doctor, playground, post office, bank, zoo, and mall. Reinforce what you experience with a follow-up book, drawing, song, or creative bedtime story.
5. Ask questions. Researchers have found that asking a child questions is a great way to jumpstart her language development. Even if your toddler can't give a verbal response, ask questions anyway, and give her opportunity to point, nod yes or no, or attempt a vocalization. Try simple questions like, "Do you want to have some milk now?" Be sure to pause and be attentive to encourage a response. As your toddler develops better communication skills, try asking questions that offer a choice. "Do you want your book or your ball?"
6. Keep it simple. Speak audibly, clearly and slowly. Use simple words and short sentences. Communicating in this manner makes it easier for your toddler to understand you and to parrot your words and speech patterns. Use adult words, not baby talk. Using cute mispronunciations that will need to be corrected later on will only confuse your child.
7. Keep up the dialogue. When your toddler speaks to you, reply in some fashion, even if you don't understand what he is saying. A response of "Is that so?" or "Isn't that interesting?" will keep a toddler engaged in the conversation and will motivate him keep trying to communicate. Give your child your full attention. Make eye contact. Listen, reply, and give him an opportunity to speak again. Oftentimes, children feel left out of conversations and slighted or ignored. Letting your child have the floor sometimes will encourage his self-expression and accelerate his language skills.
Read more...
A Guide on Preparing Your Children for Your New Home
If you think moving into a new neighborhood and out of one's comfort zone is stressful for adults, think of how this affects children. It's actually harder for them to cope with relocation. To them it means losing home, friends, a familiar school, and neighborhood, and the other, to encounter unknown peers and teachers.
It is a loss, and children go through the grieving process before they can positively adapt to such a change, remarks a behavioral psychologist.
He adds, "Furthermore, if moving is caused by a stressful event, such as parental separation, divorce, or unemployment, children are hit with a 'double whammy'. Children, whose parent or parents have negative feelings about moving, are also likely to have a difficult adjustment period. Some families move not for better financial or job prospects, but for personal and familial reasons. Example: one spouse wants to be close to his or her family of origin and the other spouse gives in and agrees to move. As they relocate, while one spouse feels connected, reenergized and enjoys the experience, the other spouse feels dislocated and out of place. Children of this couple not only have to adjust to the change but also to cope with the tension at home. Furthermore, if one of the parents gets depressed, the child may have the onus of supporting the depressed parent."
The good news is that the negative effects of moving are temporary. Most children adjust fairly quickly, make new friends, and bounce back to their previous level of school and sports achievement. At-risk children can also be helped with support and special care.
Here are some tips on what parents can do to make this transition easier for a child:
1. Prepare a child well in advance. Talk about the move as a family. Depending on the age of child, explain the move in such a way that he or she can understand and appreciate your reasons for moving.
2. Accept and acknowledge a child's feelings about losing friends and the familiar environment, and about the changes the child will have to adapt to.
3. Involve children in making decisions that you consider affordable and appropriate for your child. For example, involve the child in selecting articles for his/her new bedroom, study desk, other personal articles, etc.
4. Depending on the age of your children, assign them tasks to gather information about the new place, for example, location of a gym, Y.M.C.A., schools in the area, etc.
5. Move during the summer, if possible, to minimize school-change problems.
6. Manage your own stress and try to stay calm around children.
7. Request the new school to provide a "buddy" to take the child around the school and introduce to other children.
8. Arrange for professional help if a child is at risk.
9. Arrange for additional tutoring for a child who has learning difficulties.
10. Ask your child how you can make this transition easier for him or her.
In the moving process, children will always have mixed feelings about the move, but with adequate preparation and participation, you can minimize their anxieties and help them be part of the new community.
Read more...
It is a loss, and children go through the grieving process before they can positively adapt to such a change, remarks a behavioral psychologist.
He adds, "Furthermore, if moving is caused by a stressful event, such as parental separation, divorce, or unemployment, children are hit with a 'double whammy'. Children, whose parent or parents have negative feelings about moving, are also likely to have a difficult adjustment period. Some families move not for better financial or job prospects, but for personal and familial reasons. Example: one spouse wants to be close to his or her family of origin and the other spouse gives in and agrees to move. As they relocate, while one spouse feels connected, reenergized and enjoys the experience, the other spouse feels dislocated and out of place. Children of this couple not only have to adjust to the change but also to cope with the tension at home. Furthermore, if one of the parents gets depressed, the child may have the onus of supporting the depressed parent."
The good news is that the negative effects of moving are temporary. Most children adjust fairly quickly, make new friends, and bounce back to their previous level of school and sports achievement. At-risk children can also be helped with support and special care.
Here are some tips on what parents can do to make this transition easier for a child:
1. Prepare a child well in advance. Talk about the move as a family. Depending on the age of child, explain the move in such a way that he or she can understand and appreciate your reasons for moving.
2. Accept and acknowledge a child's feelings about losing friends and the familiar environment, and about the changes the child will have to adapt to.
3. Involve children in making decisions that you consider affordable and appropriate for your child. For example, involve the child in selecting articles for his/her new bedroom, study desk, other personal articles, etc.
4. Depending on the age of your children, assign them tasks to gather information about the new place, for example, location of a gym, Y.M.C.A., schools in the area, etc.
5. Move during the summer, if possible, to minimize school-change problems.
6. Manage your own stress and try to stay calm around children.
7. Request the new school to provide a "buddy" to take the child around the school and introduce to other children.
8. Arrange for professional help if a child is at risk.
9. Arrange for additional tutoring for a child who has learning difficulties.
10. Ask your child how you can make this transition easier for him or her.
In the moving process, children will always have mixed feelings about the move, but with adequate preparation and participation, you can minimize their anxieties and help them be part of the new community.
Read more...
How to Deal with Your Child’s Terror Teacher
Face it: not all teachers are likable. In fact, a number of them are downright deplorable. Linda had a teacher in first grade who hit her on the head with a notebook because she kept asking help from her. She had just come from a long absence due to a hospital stay that made her rusty and that day they were being given a battery of IQ tests. So you can imagine how miserable and clueless she was as to how to go about the exercises. She kept calling her teacher for clarification and when she called her for the fourth time she went up to her and brought down the booklet she was holding on her head.
She still hasn't forgiven her to this day.
We all have adjectives to describe the teacher we don't like. The most popular ones are: negative, inflexible, domineering, rude and argumentative. For sure, your children have similar opinions about a certain teacher in school. That's okay, you might say. But when this teacher starts making life miserable for your child, well, it's time to take action.
So how can parents deal with the terror teacher situation? Read on and learn from these tips:
1. Listen carefully to your child's understanding of the situation. Ask open-ended questions and listen not only to the facts, but also the feelings, expressed by your child. Ask for specific examples of behavior or words that make him think the teacher is "mean." Often, just having someone to listen to helps a child put struggles into perspective and is all they need to feel better about things.
2. Brainstorm together ways your child can improve the relationship. It usually takes two to fight. Can you help your child identify the trouble spots in his relationships? Does he talk too much at inappropriate times? Does she somehow make it difficult for the teacher to do her job? Or do their values somehow clash, for example when a messy kid meets a teacher who values neatness and organization?
3. Identify at least one behavior your child could change right away. For example, if a teacher complains about incomplete or messy work, your child could promise to finish all assignments on time for a week.
4. Meet with the teacher and compare perceptions. Start with a smile and a handshake, and then find at least one positive thing to say about the teacher or the classroom.
Then gently get to the point. Begin with, "This is what my child is feeling about coming to school. He thinks . . ." Then ask the teacher what he or she thinks is going on. If you both focus on meeting the needs of the child, you should be able to come up with a plan you can both agree on.
5. Go to the principal, only after all else has failed. If the principal can't reassign your child to another teacher, he or she may be able to help you and the teacher find common ground and a workable solution.
Learning to work through difficult relationships takes time. But it's a life skill your child needs throughout life. Self-esteem and confidence will soar when children can work out these problems on their own, with your support. And their learning will improve when you and the teacher form a truly collaborative approach to meeting your child's needs.
Read more...
She still hasn't forgiven her to this day.
We all have adjectives to describe the teacher we don't like. The most popular ones are: negative, inflexible, domineering, rude and argumentative. For sure, your children have similar opinions about a certain teacher in school. That's okay, you might say. But when this teacher starts making life miserable for your child, well, it's time to take action.
So how can parents deal with the terror teacher situation? Read on and learn from these tips:
1. Listen carefully to your child's understanding of the situation. Ask open-ended questions and listen not only to the facts, but also the feelings, expressed by your child. Ask for specific examples of behavior or words that make him think the teacher is "mean." Often, just having someone to listen to helps a child put struggles into perspective and is all they need to feel better about things.
2. Brainstorm together ways your child can improve the relationship. It usually takes two to fight. Can you help your child identify the trouble spots in his relationships? Does he talk too much at inappropriate times? Does she somehow make it difficult for the teacher to do her job? Or do their values somehow clash, for example when a messy kid meets a teacher who values neatness and organization?
3. Identify at least one behavior your child could change right away. For example, if a teacher complains about incomplete or messy work, your child could promise to finish all assignments on time for a week.
4. Meet with the teacher and compare perceptions. Start with a smile and a handshake, and then find at least one positive thing to say about the teacher or the classroom.
Then gently get to the point. Begin with, "This is what my child is feeling about coming to school. He thinks . . ." Then ask the teacher what he or she thinks is going on. If you both focus on meeting the needs of the child, you should be able to come up with a plan you can both agree on.
5. Go to the principal, only after all else has failed. If the principal can't reassign your child to another teacher, he or she may be able to help you and the teacher find common ground and a workable solution.
Learning to work through difficult relationships takes time. But it's a life skill your child needs throughout life. Self-esteem and confidence will soar when children can work out these problems on their own, with your support. And their learning will improve when you and the teacher form a truly collaborative approach to meeting your child's needs.
Read more...
8 Effective Ways on How to Tell Your Children That You Split Up
Children are the true victims of a broken home. No matter what their age, it is quite painful for them to see their parents separate, and even if they are already in the age of reason, they can never truly fathom at once why Mom and Dad have to split up. Such an event never fails to leave scars in their psyches.
However, separation of parents is something that happens unplanned, as alarming as it sounds. People change. Marriages disintegrate. But no matter who is the one at fault, children will always look up to both parents.
To ease the pain, consider the factors of when, how and what to tell them, as shown in the guidelines below:
When to Tell Them
If your children are five or younger, it's best to tell them a day or two before you separate. For school-age children, a few days to a week before will help them assimilate what you say. Adolescents often know their parents' plans weeks or even months ahead because they are often the confidants of one or both parents. But they should be told at least two weeks before the separation so they'll have the opportunity to discuss it with their best friends and think about how it will affect them and what lies ahead for all of you.
What if your spouse leaves or files for legal separation /annulment suddenly? In this case, you can apologize to your children and admit candidly that you just learned of it, that you want to keep them informed and that had you known in advance, you would have told them. This is no time to equivocate.
How to Tell Them
The best thing you can do is gather the children around during a quiet time that's not in the midst of normal activities like watching television, talking with a friend on the phone or doing homework. Tell them that you've decided to separate, what that means and when it will happen. Again, your goal is to assure your children that you're thinking about their well-being. Talk simply and slowly, and keep in mind that they'll remember forever what you are saying. They'll also remember what you don't say. Parents tend to be so worried about telling their children about it that they rush through the process. You may want to get it over with so you can feel relieved. But if you fail to fully engage each child's attention, you'll miss an important opportunity to lay the foundation for the future of your post-separation family.
Plan to tell your children about the separation when both you and your spouse are going to be home for the next few days or through the weekend. Don't do it just before a business trip or when you're less available. If you can manage to talk to them together, by all means do so. It's far better to symbolize some harmony than to show anger at the other or point a finger in blame. If you can't cooperate, each parent should tell the children separately but take turns, one right after the other. If you can lay aside your anger momentarily, decide together beforehand what you're going to say so that your stories jibe. Parents owe their children the gift of civility and cooperation at this transformative moment in their lives. To offer even more comfort and assurance, tell them that you will be there the next morning and that you'll spend more time with them at bedtime.
What to Tell Your Children —Eight Points to Cover
Many parents refrain from telling their children why they are breaking up because they think it puts the kids in the middle of an uncomfortable situation. But the opposite is true: Children who are provided with a rational age-appropriate explanation will learn that the split is not a bolt from the blue but the result of an unavoidable error.
It is important to plan what you say to your children in advance. Since separation is such a major life change, it's wise to have several conversations with your kids. Here are eight key issues to cover:
O Tell your children that when you were married, you loved each other, so they won't feel they were conceived in anger.
O Tell them that they are not responsible for the separation, and highlight specific examples. For instance, "We are not breaking up because you didn't put your toys away."
O Ask your children what they think the word "separation" means. You may be surprised by what they say.
O Tell them that you and their father will have separate homes, but that you will both continue to be their parents.
O Tell them about the custody and visiting arrangements you have in mind. Ask for their suggestions and assure them that you will consider their needs and wishes to every extent possible.
O Don't deprecate or scapegoat your spouse. Explain that because you and your husband can't make your marriage work, you've decided to separate to help everyone in the family.
O For teenage children, tell them you want them to be happy in their relationships and eventually succeed in their marriages. Say, "I know you will be a loving young woman and will choose the right partner."
O Offer ongoing support. Explain that the break-up is a "conversation for a lifetime" and is a subject that should remain open between you and your child.
Read more...
However, separation of parents is something that happens unplanned, as alarming as it sounds. People change. Marriages disintegrate. But no matter who is the one at fault, children will always look up to both parents.
To ease the pain, consider the factors of when, how and what to tell them, as shown in the guidelines below:
When to Tell Them
If your children are five or younger, it's best to tell them a day or two before you separate. For school-age children, a few days to a week before will help them assimilate what you say. Adolescents often know their parents' plans weeks or even months ahead because they are often the confidants of one or both parents. But they should be told at least two weeks before the separation so they'll have the opportunity to discuss it with their best friends and think about how it will affect them and what lies ahead for all of you.
What if your spouse leaves or files for legal separation /annulment suddenly? In this case, you can apologize to your children and admit candidly that you just learned of it, that you want to keep them informed and that had you known in advance, you would have told them. This is no time to equivocate.
How to Tell Them
The best thing you can do is gather the children around during a quiet time that's not in the midst of normal activities like watching television, talking with a friend on the phone or doing homework. Tell them that you've decided to separate, what that means and when it will happen. Again, your goal is to assure your children that you're thinking about their well-being. Talk simply and slowly, and keep in mind that they'll remember forever what you are saying. They'll also remember what you don't say. Parents tend to be so worried about telling their children about it that they rush through the process. You may want to get it over with so you can feel relieved. But if you fail to fully engage each child's attention, you'll miss an important opportunity to lay the foundation for the future of your post-separation family.
Plan to tell your children about the separation when both you and your spouse are going to be home for the next few days or through the weekend. Don't do it just before a business trip or when you're less available. If you can manage to talk to them together, by all means do so. It's far better to symbolize some harmony than to show anger at the other or point a finger in blame. If you can't cooperate, each parent should tell the children separately but take turns, one right after the other. If you can lay aside your anger momentarily, decide together beforehand what you're going to say so that your stories jibe. Parents owe their children the gift of civility and cooperation at this transformative moment in their lives. To offer even more comfort and assurance, tell them that you will be there the next morning and that you'll spend more time with them at bedtime.
What to Tell Your Children —Eight Points to Cover
Many parents refrain from telling their children why they are breaking up because they think it puts the kids in the middle of an uncomfortable situation. But the opposite is true: Children who are provided with a rational age-appropriate explanation will learn that the split is not a bolt from the blue but the result of an unavoidable error.
It is important to plan what you say to your children in advance. Since separation is such a major life change, it's wise to have several conversations with your kids. Here are eight key issues to cover:
O Tell your children that when you were married, you loved each other, so they won't feel they were conceived in anger.
O Tell them that they are not responsible for the separation, and highlight specific examples. For instance, "We are not breaking up because you didn't put your toys away."
O Ask your children what they think the word "separation" means. You may be surprised by what they say.
O Tell them that you and their father will have separate homes, but that you will both continue to be their parents.
O Tell them about the custody and visiting arrangements you have in mind. Ask for their suggestions and assure them that you will consider their needs and wishes to every extent possible.
O Don't deprecate or scapegoat your spouse. Explain that because you and your husband can't make your marriage work, you've decided to separate to help everyone in the family.
O For teenage children, tell them you want them to be happy in their relationships and eventually succeed in their marriages. Say, "I know you will be a loving young woman and will choose the right partner."
O Offer ongoing support. Explain that the break-up is a "conversation for a lifetime" and is a subject that should remain open between you and your child.
Read more...
10 Ways to Discipline Your Child without Spanking
Terri spanks her kids on the hand. But that’s when her kids go to the extreme. The last time she smacked her second daughter's open palm was when she disobeyed her order to stop unraveling her older sister's crochet project . . . for the fifth time.
She swears, it was enough to send me to the loony bin. But when you're exhausted from doing chores, worrying about having to pay the bills, and trying to keep your sanity, well, you're bound to snap and use the hand when your children defy you over and over in a span of sixty minutes or less.
Still, spanking when doled out frequently is just as destructive as the behavior you abhor in your child. Studies show that the more often a child is spanked, the greater is the risk of childhood aggression and other antisocial behaviors such as lying, cheating and bullying. Children who are raised with spankings are less likely to learn right from wrong, and are more likely to misbehave behind their parent's backs.
There are other ways to discipline your child without resorting to spanking. Here are some of them:
1. Be firm and be kind. A child is more likely to hear what you're saying if you use a neutral tone.
2. Pause. There's nothing wrong with saying: "I'm too angry to deal with this now. We'll talk about it later."
3. Teach your kids. Instead of punishing a child for misbehaving, think in terms of teaching him to behave. "I don't like it when you leave your skateboard in the front hall. Next time, please put it in the mudroom. How can I help you remember?"
4. Be positive. Instead of saying, "How many times do I need to ask you to brush your teeth?" Say, "Go brush your teeth and let me know when you've finished so I can tuck you in."
5. Give explanations, not threats. By giving your child a brief explanation of why she needs to do as she's told, you give her a reason to behave.
6. Refuse to get angry. Instead of focusing on your child's misbehavior and working yourself into lather, think of each conflict as an opportunity to guide and direct your child.
7. Give incentives. Inspire your child to cooperate with phrases like, "It's time to go. Why don't you go down the slide one more time and then let's hustle. I want to get home in time to make cookies."
8. Be flexible. If your little one asks, "Can I just finish watching this show before we go?", be reasonable. If you have the time to spare, make room for your child's requests. This is a great way for kids to learn about the art of negotiation.
9. Drop out of power struggles. Nothing is as frustrating or less productive as having a showdown with your little one. Invite your child to cooperate by saying something like, "I've got a problem. I want you to wear a clean shirt and you insist on wearing the same old one every day. How can we solve this problem?" Your child is more likely to cooperate if he comes up with the solution.
10. Be smart. Parents will often deal with problems in a set manner, even if their approach isn't helping. If what you're doing isn't working, find a more effective way to handle the problem. Tip: It's much easier to change your approach than it is to change your child. Ask yourself, "What can I do differently that will inspire a better reaction from my child?"
TIP: Remember these three important rules about punishment:
• Don't assign a punishment when you're angry.
• Don't use punishment as revenge.
• A more severe punishment is not necessarily a better one.
Read more...
She swears, it was enough to send me to the loony bin. But when you're exhausted from doing chores, worrying about having to pay the bills, and trying to keep your sanity, well, you're bound to snap and use the hand when your children defy you over and over in a span of sixty minutes or less.
Still, spanking when doled out frequently is just as destructive as the behavior you abhor in your child. Studies show that the more often a child is spanked, the greater is the risk of childhood aggression and other antisocial behaviors such as lying, cheating and bullying. Children who are raised with spankings are less likely to learn right from wrong, and are more likely to misbehave behind their parent's backs.
There are other ways to discipline your child without resorting to spanking. Here are some of them:
1. Be firm and be kind. A child is more likely to hear what you're saying if you use a neutral tone.
2. Pause. There's nothing wrong with saying: "I'm too angry to deal with this now. We'll talk about it later."
3. Teach your kids. Instead of punishing a child for misbehaving, think in terms of teaching him to behave. "I don't like it when you leave your skateboard in the front hall. Next time, please put it in the mudroom. How can I help you remember?"
4. Be positive. Instead of saying, "How many times do I need to ask you to brush your teeth?" Say, "Go brush your teeth and let me know when you've finished so I can tuck you in."
5. Give explanations, not threats. By giving your child a brief explanation of why she needs to do as she's told, you give her a reason to behave.
6. Refuse to get angry. Instead of focusing on your child's misbehavior and working yourself into lather, think of each conflict as an opportunity to guide and direct your child.
7. Give incentives. Inspire your child to cooperate with phrases like, "It's time to go. Why don't you go down the slide one more time and then let's hustle. I want to get home in time to make cookies."
8. Be flexible. If your little one asks, "Can I just finish watching this show before we go?", be reasonable. If you have the time to spare, make room for your child's requests. This is a great way for kids to learn about the art of negotiation.
9. Drop out of power struggles. Nothing is as frustrating or less productive as having a showdown with your little one. Invite your child to cooperate by saying something like, "I've got a problem. I want you to wear a clean shirt and you insist on wearing the same old one every day. How can we solve this problem?" Your child is more likely to cooperate if he comes up with the solution.
10. Be smart. Parents will often deal with problems in a set manner, even if their approach isn't helping. If what you're doing isn't working, find a more effective way to handle the problem. Tip: It's much easier to change your approach than it is to change your child. Ask yourself, "What can I do differently that will inspire a better reaction from my child?"
TIP: Remember these three important rules about punishment:
• Don't assign a punishment when you're angry.
• Don't use punishment as revenge.
• A more severe punishment is not necessarily a better one.
Read more...
How to Find the Right Tutor for Your Child
Brace yourself. Your child's teacher has just written in the school diary that your child will need extra tutoring. Okay, so you already know that part. The hard part is finding the right tutor for your child.
A noted educator acknowledges that each family has unique needs, and tutors have many degrees of know-how and caring. So it is important to know what you want, then thoroughly investigate the skill, experience, commitment and personality of the tutor.
Know your goals
Ask yourself or your child's teacher:
1. What level of help do we need? Does my child need homework help, intensive remediation, or something in between?
2. What areas do we want to see the tutor improve: better scores in one subject; improved general skills (math, reading, science); study skills; motivation?
3. What do I know about my child's learning style? Does he learn best by reading, listening, moving, touching? Does he do better with men or women? Does he need lots of nurturing or a firm hand? What motivates and interests him?
4. How much time and money can you devote to tutoring? Don't skimp, but be honest with yourself before you start.
Test your options
1. Check credentials carefully. Ask the tutor the following questions to see how well their skills match your child's needs:
• What is your educational background? If the tutor will work on chemistry, she should have at least a college minor in chemistry. A different education is needed to teach first-grade reading.
• Are you certified to teach this subject area? Certified teachers have had to take plenty of "how to" education classes and have been supervised in student teaching by a mentor teacher. They not only know the subject matter, but they also know many ways to convey the material to an individual student.
• What type of teaching experience do you have? Look for a tutor who has worked with students similar in age and ability to your child.
2. Meet with several candidates. Include your child and ask plenty of questions:
• How do you evaluate each student's needs? Find out whether the tutor will use standardized tests, school reports, or other forms of evaluation to discover your child's strengths and weaknesses.
• How long do you think you will need to prepare the lessons? Keep in mind that difficult subject matters will take longer to prepare, so expect to pay more for the extra preparation time.
• What tutoring methods do you use? A skilled tutor will do more than just answer questions and do problems with students. He will assess your child's strengths and weaknesses, prepare individualized materials and use "hands-on" materials wherever possible. He will work hand-in-hand with the classroom teacher, and most of all, give your child a "can-do" attitude and lots of positive reinforcement.
• What do you expect from me? Good tutors need a family's cooperation. They need parents to contact classroom teachers and ask for cooperation in making tutoring a success: a copy of the textbook they use; a syllabus of their class or subject; any extra worksheets they have that might facilitate the tutorial process.
• How do you motivate your students? Think about what motivates your child, and seek a tutor who uses these methods.
• What hours are you available? This question often makes or breaks a deal. You may have found the perfect tutor, but if she doesn't fit your schedule you're out of luck.
Partner for results
Watch how your child relates to the tutor. Sit in on part of a session if possible. Your child must be comfortable, if you want to see success.
Monitor progress. Ask for feedback from your child, and see if your child's grade gradually improves. If, after several sessions, you don't see improvement or you feel a negative attitude in your child, move on to another tutor.
Finding — and keeping — a good tutor involves some work on your part. But then isn't your child worth all the help you can give?
Read more...
A noted educator acknowledges that each family has unique needs, and tutors have many degrees of know-how and caring. So it is important to know what you want, then thoroughly investigate the skill, experience, commitment and personality of the tutor.
Know your goals
Ask yourself or your child's teacher:
1. What level of help do we need? Does my child need homework help, intensive remediation, or something in between?
2. What areas do we want to see the tutor improve: better scores in one subject; improved general skills (math, reading, science); study skills; motivation?
3. What do I know about my child's learning style? Does he learn best by reading, listening, moving, touching? Does he do better with men or women? Does he need lots of nurturing or a firm hand? What motivates and interests him?
4. How much time and money can you devote to tutoring? Don't skimp, but be honest with yourself before you start.
Test your options
1. Check credentials carefully. Ask the tutor the following questions to see how well their skills match your child's needs:
• What is your educational background? If the tutor will work on chemistry, she should have at least a college minor in chemistry. A different education is needed to teach first-grade reading.
• Are you certified to teach this subject area? Certified teachers have had to take plenty of "how to" education classes and have been supervised in student teaching by a mentor teacher. They not only know the subject matter, but they also know many ways to convey the material to an individual student.
• What type of teaching experience do you have? Look for a tutor who has worked with students similar in age and ability to your child.
2. Meet with several candidates. Include your child and ask plenty of questions:
• How do you evaluate each student's needs? Find out whether the tutor will use standardized tests, school reports, or other forms of evaluation to discover your child's strengths and weaknesses.
• How long do you think you will need to prepare the lessons? Keep in mind that difficult subject matters will take longer to prepare, so expect to pay more for the extra preparation time.
• What tutoring methods do you use? A skilled tutor will do more than just answer questions and do problems with students. He will assess your child's strengths and weaknesses, prepare individualized materials and use "hands-on" materials wherever possible. He will work hand-in-hand with the classroom teacher, and most of all, give your child a "can-do" attitude and lots of positive reinforcement.
• What do you expect from me? Good tutors need a family's cooperation. They need parents to contact classroom teachers and ask for cooperation in making tutoring a success: a copy of the textbook they use; a syllabus of their class or subject; any extra worksheets they have that might facilitate the tutorial process.
• How do you motivate your students? Think about what motivates your child, and seek a tutor who uses these methods.
• What hours are you available? This question often makes or breaks a deal. You may have found the perfect tutor, but if she doesn't fit your schedule you're out of luck.
Partner for results
Watch how your child relates to the tutor. Sit in on part of a session if possible. Your child must be comfortable, if you want to see success.
Monitor progress. Ask for feedback from your child, and see if your child's grade gradually improves. If, after several sessions, you don't see improvement or you feel a negative attitude in your child, move on to another tutor.
Finding — and keeping — a good tutor involves some work on your part. But then isn't your child worth all the help you can give?
Read more...
Is Sex Education Important for Children?
Sex education classes in school are not immediately known in detail by parents. This means that there is absolutely no way parents can control, or even find out what their children are being taught about sex unless they sit in the classroom or when their teenage child asks them to buy a condom or IUD to be brought to class as part of their homework.
Sex education in schools has never been shown to reduce the growing problem of teen pregnancy or abortion. In fact, in the US, data shows the opposite: a federal funding for sex education programs increases, so do the rates of teen pregnancies and abortions. This proves that the contraceptive mentality encourages the youth to become promiscuous.
Children do not need sex education, they need chastity education. Kids need to learn how to say no and why saying no is in their best interest - physically, emotionally and spiritually. Sexuality involves more than birth control pills. The school sends the wrong message to students when their sex education courses are mere “how to do it and how not to get caught” lessons.
There is no such thing as “value-free” sex education. When anything more than the biology is taught, someone’s values are going to be presented. Telling students to “make up your on mind” tells them there are no standards to go by. Telling students it is “best to say ‘no’, but if you are going to be sexually active, be protected” send them the message that the teacher does not really expect them to control themselves. Presenting birth control without saying it is wrong for them to use it tells the students the teacher does not think it is wrong.
The best lesson in sex parents can provide their children are the love and respect hey show for each other. Parents convey attitudes and values about life and sexuality as they interact with their children each day. That is why parents must always be available tot heir children to reinforce sound values, answer questions and give direction.
In the end, parents’ commitment as husband and wife, and the love and respect they show for one another, spell out the message that sex is purely physical; but love embraces both body and soul.
Read more...
Sex education in schools has never been shown to reduce the growing problem of teen pregnancy or abortion. In fact, in the US, data shows the opposite: a federal funding for sex education programs increases, so do the rates of teen pregnancies and abortions. This proves that the contraceptive mentality encourages the youth to become promiscuous.
Children do not need sex education, they need chastity education. Kids need to learn how to say no and why saying no is in their best interest - physically, emotionally and spiritually. Sexuality involves more than birth control pills. The school sends the wrong message to students when their sex education courses are mere “how to do it and how not to get caught” lessons.
There is no such thing as “value-free” sex education. When anything more than the biology is taught, someone’s values are going to be presented. Telling students to “make up your on mind” tells them there are no standards to go by. Telling students it is “best to say ‘no’, but if you are going to be sexually active, be protected” send them the message that the teacher does not really expect them to control themselves. Presenting birth control without saying it is wrong for them to use it tells the students the teacher does not think it is wrong.
The best lesson in sex parents can provide their children are the love and respect hey show for each other. Parents convey attitudes and values about life and sexuality as they interact with their children each day. That is why parents must always be available tot heir children to reinforce sound values, answer questions and give direction.
In the end, parents’ commitment as husband and wife, and the love and respect they show for one another, spell out the message that sex is purely physical; but love embraces both body and soul.
Read more...
9 Family-Friendly Summer Destinations
Summer means fun and travel for the whole family. It is also a time to go places with the kids. The following are nine excellent family-friendly summer destinations.
1. Theme parks – Nothing beats the fun and excitement found in theme parks. It is a place to go picnicking, and riding dizzying rides of roller coaster, ferris wheels, octopus and other carnival rides. It is also a great place to keep cool this summer.
2. Nature camp trips – Nature camps are wonderful places for families. They blend learning and fun, teaching adults and kids about the natural world through a variety of age-appropriate activities. Highlights include nature hikes, bird-watching expeditions, wildflower walks, cultural and historical field trips, and other activities, all customized for 3-year-olds, 80-year-olds, and everyone in between.
3. Mall trips – Cash constraints? No problem. You and your family can still enjoy kid-friendly destinations with minimal costs. All you have to is plan a mall rip (city trip). A mall trip in the city is a terrific destination for families with infants. Most are stroller-friendly (or you can opt for a backpack carrier), so your baby can tag along with you and have a bottle or even sleep while you are exploring. Take advantage while your child is still fairly portable. You can go window shopping or attend mall events with your kids – all under the comfort of an air-conditioned building. And there is practically no entrance fee to worry about.
4. Zoos – Zoos continue to lure curious kids and adults. It gives first-hand experience about exotic animals and birds. It always thrills kids to hear and see giraffes, elephants, lions, alligators, tigers, etc. And what is more, it is very affordable.
5. Museums – If you are short of cash, you still can go to kid-friendly places and have some great time. You could take the whole family to your local museum. The children will learn about your early culture and history. A family visit to your museum will surely instill the sense of patriotism in the kids, plus, it will expand you and your children’s knowledge about your country.
6. Beaches – Of course, there is always the magic of beaches. The soothing warmth of the sun, a balmy sea breeze, the lull of the waves, nothing offers a more relaxing vacation for the entire family, no matter how young or old, than the beach. Children can amuse themselves for hours. There is a sandbox that does not quit, water to splash in, shells to collect, and tide pools to explore. Parents find keeping watch over their little ones a pleasure with the sun above and sand underfoot. Old time favorite beaches abound in the country.
7. Resorts and pools – For those who cannot bear the salt, the waves, and the hot summer sun on the beach, you have other options. You can go to a swimming pool of your choice together with your family. For a very small entrance fee, you can already enjoy the waters under the soothing shades of trees. As an added bonus, these pay resorts have pools designed especially for kids so everybody could have fun together.
8. Historical landmarks – Aside from the malls, you can take your family to historical landmarks. It is a great place to explore or simply while away the time with the kids.
9. Cruises – Cruises have the right ingredients for hassle-fee family vacations: all-inclusive prices, safe environments, plentiful activities for kids and adults, and stops at a variety of colorful destinations.
Read more...
1. Theme parks – Nothing beats the fun and excitement found in theme parks. It is a place to go picnicking, and riding dizzying rides of roller coaster, ferris wheels, octopus and other carnival rides. It is also a great place to keep cool this summer.
2. Nature camp trips – Nature camps are wonderful places for families. They blend learning and fun, teaching adults and kids about the natural world through a variety of age-appropriate activities. Highlights include nature hikes, bird-watching expeditions, wildflower walks, cultural and historical field trips, and other activities, all customized for 3-year-olds, 80-year-olds, and everyone in between.
3. Mall trips – Cash constraints? No problem. You and your family can still enjoy kid-friendly destinations with minimal costs. All you have to is plan a mall rip (city trip). A mall trip in the city is a terrific destination for families with infants. Most are stroller-friendly (or you can opt for a backpack carrier), so your baby can tag along with you and have a bottle or even sleep while you are exploring. Take advantage while your child is still fairly portable. You can go window shopping or attend mall events with your kids – all under the comfort of an air-conditioned building. And there is practically no entrance fee to worry about.
4. Zoos – Zoos continue to lure curious kids and adults. It gives first-hand experience about exotic animals and birds. It always thrills kids to hear and see giraffes, elephants, lions, alligators, tigers, etc. And what is more, it is very affordable.
5. Museums – If you are short of cash, you still can go to kid-friendly places and have some great time. You could take the whole family to your local museum. The children will learn about your early culture and history. A family visit to your museum will surely instill the sense of patriotism in the kids, plus, it will expand you and your children’s knowledge about your country.
6. Beaches – Of course, there is always the magic of beaches. The soothing warmth of the sun, a balmy sea breeze, the lull of the waves, nothing offers a more relaxing vacation for the entire family, no matter how young or old, than the beach. Children can amuse themselves for hours. There is a sandbox that does not quit, water to splash in, shells to collect, and tide pools to explore. Parents find keeping watch over their little ones a pleasure with the sun above and sand underfoot. Old time favorite beaches abound in the country.
7. Resorts and pools – For those who cannot bear the salt, the waves, and the hot summer sun on the beach, you have other options. You can go to a swimming pool of your choice together with your family. For a very small entrance fee, you can already enjoy the waters under the soothing shades of trees. As an added bonus, these pay resorts have pools designed especially for kids so everybody could have fun together.
8. Historical landmarks – Aside from the malls, you can take your family to historical landmarks. It is a great place to explore or simply while away the time with the kids.
9. Cruises – Cruises have the right ingredients for hassle-fee family vacations: all-inclusive prices, safe environments, plentiful activities for kids and adults, and stops at a variety of colorful destinations.
Read more...
How to Guide Your Child in Choosing College
It's already the second half of the year and your child is not yet done with his or her college applications. You're hoping your kid gets into such-and-such a university because that's where members of the clan have been studying for the last five generations and where half the men in the family gained fame and popularity for joining the varsity basketball team.
Whatever the reasons for zeroing in on a particular college, ask your child and yourself if it is indeed the right college. Don't get carried away by family tradition or prestige. Your child will be studying in that institution for the next four years so you better think it over well. Otherwise, your kid might want to transfer schools before the end of freshman year. While you can guide him or her through several options, in the end, it's his or her decision.
Here are some things for the senior high school student to consider when choosing a college:
1. Size. College comes in all sizes, from a school that enrolls only a few hundred students to schools which can enroll thousands. Which one is better? Well, that depends on you and what you're comfortable with. Did you go to a small high school or a large one? Did you like the size of your high school? Did you grow up in a city or a rural area? Do you like being in places where everybody knows you, or do you like the anonymity of a crowd?
2. Type. All colleges are not the same. Some have large graduate programs and devote much of their time and resources to research. Others enroll only undergraduates and focus their attention on teaching and learning. Some schools have a specialty in one specific area, like students a broad education. Other differences include whether schools are single sex or coed, if they have a religious affiliation, and whether they are public or private.
3. Location. If you have always lived in the suburbs, choosing an urban campus can be an adventure. But after a week of urban noise, dirt, and rude people, will you long for a grassy campus and open space? On the other hand, if you are used to the suburbs and mall life and choose a college in a rural area, will you run screaming into the Student Center some night looking for noise, lights, and people? Think about where you grew up and how much of a change you want from that when you go to college.
4. Distance from Home. Closely tied to location is the issue of how far from home you want to be. For some people who will be boarding, going to college is a chance to explore a totally different part of the country. For others, they want to make sure they can have dinner with their family once a week, or go home to do their laundry. When you decide how far you want to be from home, think about how likely you are to get homesick, and how much money you can afford to spend in travel. The farther you are from home, the less often you'll be able to visit. On the other hand, with e-mail and cell phones, you can still feel close to them.
5. Your Gut Feeling. Trust your instincts. If a place feels right, that's important. Similarly, if it just feels wrong, no matter who wants you to go there or how good it looks on paper, it probably is. College is a very personal choice, and after considering all the other objective factors, the fact of the matter is that it comes down to you. Visit colleges you're interested in, and see how you feel walking around their campuses. Could you imagine yourself going to school there? Once you find a few places that you like, you'll be well on your way to finding the college that's right for you.
Good luck, happy hunting!
Read more...
Whatever the reasons for zeroing in on a particular college, ask your child and yourself if it is indeed the right college. Don't get carried away by family tradition or prestige. Your child will be studying in that institution for the next four years so you better think it over well. Otherwise, your kid might want to transfer schools before the end of freshman year. While you can guide him or her through several options, in the end, it's his or her decision.
Here are some things for the senior high school student to consider when choosing a college:
1. Size. College comes in all sizes, from a school that enrolls only a few hundred students to schools which can enroll thousands. Which one is better? Well, that depends on you and what you're comfortable with. Did you go to a small high school or a large one? Did you like the size of your high school? Did you grow up in a city or a rural area? Do you like being in places where everybody knows you, or do you like the anonymity of a crowd?
2. Type. All colleges are not the same. Some have large graduate programs and devote much of their time and resources to research. Others enroll only undergraduates and focus their attention on teaching and learning. Some schools have a specialty in one specific area, like students a broad education. Other differences include whether schools are single sex or coed, if they have a religious affiliation, and whether they are public or private.
3. Location. If you have always lived in the suburbs, choosing an urban campus can be an adventure. But after a week of urban noise, dirt, and rude people, will you long for a grassy campus and open space? On the other hand, if you are used to the suburbs and mall life and choose a college in a rural area, will you run screaming into the Student Center some night looking for noise, lights, and people? Think about where you grew up and how much of a change you want from that when you go to college.
4. Distance from Home. Closely tied to location is the issue of how far from home you want to be. For some people who will be boarding, going to college is a chance to explore a totally different part of the country. For others, they want to make sure they can have dinner with their family once a week, or go home to do their laundry. When you decide how far you want to be from home, think about how likely you are to get homesick, and how much money you can afford to spend in travel. The farther you are from home, the less often you'll be able to visit. On the other hand, with e-mail and cell phones, you can still feel close to them.
5. Your Gut Feeling. Trust your instincts. If a place feels right, that's important. Similarly, if it just feels wrong, no matter who wants you to go there or how good it looks on paper, it probably is. College is a very personal choice, and after considering all the other objective factors, the fact of the matter is that it comes down to you. Visit colleges you're interested in, and see how you feel walking around their campuses. Could you imagine yourself going to school there? Once you find a few places that you like, you'll be well on your way to finding the college that's right for you.
Good luck, happy hunting!
Read more...
How to Keep Your Kids Away from Drugs
Fortunately for the many parents seeking help, much is now known about preventing drug abuse. What follows is the latest and best information on what you can do to protect your child.
• Early steps. A parent's actions even before a child's birth are critical to helping that child stay off drugs in later years. Drugs, including nicotine and alcohol, can cross the placental barrier and damage a fetus as early as three weeks after conception. And some research suggests that babies born to addicted mothers may be at higher risk of addiction later in their lives.
In addition, experts agree that loving attention is important to developing lifelong self-worth — and that lack of self-worth is a major reason for drug use. Long before your children are ready for school, establish family guidelines for behavior: honesty, fairness, and respect for others and for the law.
• First lessons. As soon as they're old enough to understand, teach your children that some products found around the house, including household cleaners, aerosols and medicines, can be poisonous. Drill it into your kids: Don't ever swallow anything new without talking to daddy or mommy first."
• Examples at home. Children five to nine years old still learn mainly by experience. They can slide from fact to fantasy and back again without even realizing it. What they see, however, is very real to them. Though teachers often achieve hero-like status, it's still what children encounter at home that counts the most.
• Decision-making. Now is when to begin teaching your children to make decisions on their own, and to impart "don't-be-a-follower" lessons. Parents should begin to teach their kids about peer pressure before they're seven, say experts. They have to be made to understand that just because someone tells them to do something, that doesn't mean it's the right thing to do. If they're in doubt, kids should ask someone they trust.
• Monitor activities. Parents whose children are already teenagers should always have an idea of where the kids are going and who they'll be with.
• Lots of love. Adolescence is probably the most vulnerable period in a child's life, a time when peer pressure hits him with a vengeance. Their clothes are bizarre, their music funky. Hormones are bubbling and kids this age are curious about everything — and willing to try just about everything they think will make them look "cool."
However, kids at this age often feel held back by overprotective parents and teachers. This can create rebellious teens.
• Factual advice. An expert believes that mature kids need facts while immature kids need a balance between facts and penalties if they are going to resist the peer pressure and temptations around them. Most experts agree, however, that scare tactics are not the way to go.
• Setting limits. Many young people use drugs simply because their friends do. To reinforce a child's ability to resist, get to know your child's friends and their parents, and as already mentioned, monitor his or her whereabouts.
Read more...
• Early steps. A parent's actions even before a child's birth are critical to helping that child stay off drugs in later years. Drugs, including nicotine and alcohol, can cross the placental barrier and damage a fetus as early as three weeks after conception. And some research suggests that babies born to addicted mothers may be at higher risk of addiction later in their lives.
In addition, experts agree that loving attention is important to developing lifelong self-worth — and that lack of self-worth is a major reason for drug use. Long before your children are ready for school, establish family guidelines for behavior: honesty, fairness, and respect for others and for the law.
• First lessons. As soon as they're old enough to understand, teach your children that some products found around the house, including household cleaners, aerosols and medicines, can be poisonous. Drill it into your kids: Don't ever swallow anything new without talking to daddy or mommy first."
• Examples at home. Children five to nine years old still learn mainly by experience. They can slide from fact to fantasy and back again without even realizing it. What they see, however, is very real to them. Though teachers often achieve hero-like status, it's still what children encounter at home that counts the most.
• Decision-making. Now is when to begin teaching your children to make decisions on their own, and to impart "don't-be-a-follower" lessons. Parents should begin to teach their kids about peer pressure before they're seven, say experts. They have to be made to understand that just because someone tells them to do something, that doesn't mean it's the right thing to do. If they're in doubt, kids should ask someone they trust.
• Monitor activities. Parents whose children are already teenagers should always have an idea of where the kids are going and who they'll be with.
• Lots of love. Adolescence is probably the most vulnerable period in a child's life, a time when peer pressure hits him with a vengeance. Their clothes are bizarre, their music funky. Hormones are bubbling and kids this age are curious about everything — and willing to try just about everything they think will make them look "cool."
However, kids at this age often feel held back by overprotective parents and teachers. This can create rebellious teens.
• Factual advice. An expert believes that mature kids need facts while immature kids need a balance between facts and penalties if they are going to resist the peer pressure and temptations around them. Most experts agree, however, that scare tactics are not the way to go.
• Setting limits. Many young people use drugs simply because their friends do. To reinforce a child's ability to resist, get to know your child's friends and their parents, and as already mentioned, monitor his or her whereabouts.
Read more...
15 Warning Signs That Your Child is Abusing Drugs
There are a number of reasons a child may be initiated into the use of drugs, but one of these is the parents' lack of basic education about them. Many are unaware of the prevalence of illicit substance and the horrible risks their children face.
Sniffing dangers
Now is also when kids begin to encounter inhalants: pressurized aerosol products such as paint and cooking sprays or model glue. Kids inhale these volatile substances in order to experience a high. The fact that the momentary "buzz" can cause permanent brain damage, even death doesn't occur to these youngsters. Parents should try to explain to their children in very simple terms about the dangers of such inhalants and that they must not mess with the stuff even just out of curiosity. Kids in their teens are increasingly tuned in to TV, movies and music that bombard them with images of drug and alcohol use. You should therefore try to keep tabs on what your children watch and listen to.
Most experts agree that it's all right if your kids see you having an occasional drink. But if they see you using alcohol as a regular coping mechanism, it's not.
What to Look For
Here are some warning signs that a teen may be using drugs:
• Drop in academic performance.
• Lack of interest in grooming.
• Change in style of dress.
• Withdrawal, isolation, depression, fatigue.
• Aggressive, rebellious behavior.
• Excessive influence by peers.
• Hostility and lack of cooperativeness.
• Deteriorating relationships with family.
• Change in friends.
• Loss of interest in hobbies and sports.
• Sudden change in musical tastes.
• Stealing.
• Change in eating or sleeping habits.
• Evidence of drugs and paraphernalia: pipes, rolling papers, medicine bottles, eye drops, lighters.
• Physical changes: red eyes, runny nose not due to colds, coughing, wheezing, nausea, bags under eyes, frequent sore throats, bruises from falls.
Read more...
Sniffing dangers
Now is also when kids begin to encounter inhalants: pressurized aerosol products such as paint and cooking sprays or model glue. Kids inhale these volatile substances in order to experience a high. The fact that the momentary "buzz" can cause permanent brain damage, even death doesn't occur to these youngsters. Parents should try to explain to their children in very simple terms about the dangers of such inhalants and that they must not mess with the stuff even just out of curiosity. Kids in their teens are increasingly tuned in to TV, movies and music that bombard them with images of drug and alcohol use. You should therefore try to keep tabs on what your children watch and listen to.
Most experts agree that it's all right if your kids see you having an occasional drink. But if they see you using alcohol as a regular coping mechanism, it's not.
What to Look For
Here are some warning signs that a teen may be using drugs:
• Drop in academic performance.
• Lack of interest in grooming.
• Change in style of dress.
• Withdrawal, isolation, depression, fatigue.
• Aggressive, rebellious behavior.
• Excessive influence by peers.
• Hostility and lack of cooperativeness.
• Deteriorating relationships with family.
• Change in friends.
• Loss of interest in hobbies and sports.
• Sudden change in musical tastes.
• Stealing.
• Change in eating or sleeping habits.
• Evidence of drugs and paraphernalia: pipes, rolling papers, medicine bottles, eye drops, lighters.
• Physical changes: red eyes, runny nose not due to colds, coughing, wheezing, nausea, bags under eyes, frequent sore throats, bruises from falls.
Read more...
7 Ways on Handling a Temperamental Child
Some children are born with very strong and intimidating personalities coupled with a ferocious temper. These children, while they may not necessarily be the school bullies, will not back down when teased or challenged to a fight. They are quick to explode and can't be reasoned with. Negotiating with them to calm down and engage in a proper discussion is always futile. They are surely to the point of discouraging other kids from wanting to be friends with them. They don't adapt easily to change and display tantrums, not minding if other people are witnessing their irascibility.
According to research, some children (approximately 10-20%) are born with "difficult temperament." Traits include: high, often impulsive activity level; extra sensitive to sensory stimulation; overwhelmed by change in routines and new experiences; intense, inflexible reactions; easily distracted or incredibly focused; adapt slowly to change, not able to calm themselves well; irregular biological rhythms, such as hunger/sleep schedules; rapid, intense, mood swings resulting in acting out or withdrawing completely.
Effective parents develop attitudes, guidance strategies, and communication skills that work with, rather than against, a child's temperament. Difficult children can learn to be self-controlled, cooperative, and adaptable. Here are several tips:
• Provide the fundamentals. Children who are well-nourished with enough sleep and the right foods cope best. Give children personalized time, attention, and affection daily.
• Focus on strengths; look for the positive. Voice your appreciation whenever a child is flexible, positive, or adaptable.
• Avoid name-calling and labeling kids as "hyper," "problem child" or "trouble maker." Labels chip away at self-esteem.
• Be patient, empathize, and interpret temperament traits. Try: "It's hard for you to sit still a long time. Hold on, we'll be at the park soon. See how many stop signs you can find." Or "It's frustrating adjusting to home after visiting with grandpa. Remember, first you brush your teeth, take a bath, and then we read a story before bed."
• Maintain a predictable schedule. Warn children of changes in routine so they aren't caught off guard. "Today, we're taking care of your cousin Tony because his par¬ents are out of town."
•Keep your home calm and predictable. Loud television, music, or family arguments will stress any child, but especially those with difficult temperament.
•Create safe, cozy and calming spaces in your home where a child can relax or regain gain control when upset or over-stimulated. Remind him/her of relaxing things as such as coping strategies, a favorite stuffed animal, toy, music, or game.
Read more...
According to research, some children (approximately 10-20%) are born with "difficult temperament." Traits include: high, often impulsive activity level; extra sensitive to sensory stimulation; overwhelmed by change in routines and new experiences; intense, inflexible reactions; easily distracted or incredibly focused; adapt slowly to change, not able to calm themselves well; irregular biological rhythms, such as hunger/sleep schedules; rapid, intense, mood swings resulting in acting out or withdrawing completely.
Effective parents develop attitudes, guidance strategies, and communication skills that work with, rather than against, a child's temperament. Difficult children can learn to be self-controlled, cooperative, and adaptable. Here are several tips:
• Provide the fundamentals. Children who are well-nourished with enough sleep and the right foods cope best. Give children personalized time, attention, and affection daily.
• Focus on strengths; look for the positive. Voice your appreciation whenever a child is flexible, positive, or adaptable.
• Avoid name-calling and labeling kids as "hyper," "problem child" or "trouble maker." Labels chip away at self-esteem.
• Be patient, empathize, and interpret temperament traits. Try: "It's hard for you to sit still a long time. Hold on, we'll be at the park soon. See how many stop signs you can find." Or "It's frustrating adjusting to home after visiting with grandpa. Remember, first you brush your teeth, take a bath, and then we read a story before bed."
• Maintain a predictable schedule. Warn children of changes in routine so they aren't caught off guard. "Today, we're taking care of your cousin Tony because his par¬ents are out of town."
•Keep your home calm and predictable. Loud television, music, or family arguments will stress any child, but especially those with difficult temperament.
•Create safe, cozy and calming spaces in your home where a child can relax or regain gain control when upset or over-stimulated. Remind him/her of relaxing things as such as coping strategies, a favorite stuffed animal, toy, music, or game.
Read more...
Winning and Losing Games with Your Children
The abilities to lose and win graciously are just two of the important skills children learn through competing. Playing games promotes qualities essential for success in life – such as risk taking, concentration, and planning strategy – so it’s important to remember that we are often teaching our kids significant lessons even while engaging in seemingly trivial games.
But when is a child ready to handle competition and games with formal rules? It depends mainly on the developmental stage of the child, For example, a 4-year-old who is intrigued by Chinese checkers may enjoy simply by taking turns arranging the marbles by color on the board. A 3-year-old who has watched her older siblings play dominoes might like to see how many she can stack in to a tower.
Change the Rules to Suit Younger Kids
Starting around age 4 or 5, kids are capable of following simple rules, though many board games are still too complicated. Most children in this age range are not really able to strategize.
If necessary, you may change some rules of the game to suit your child’s abilities and age.
Regardless of your child’s age, keep in mind that what matters most in playing with your kids is that you have bonded and have fun together. Give your child undivided attention when you play a game together, choosing a game you have time to finish, and stopping if your child is not having fun.
Of course, children are most likely to enjoy the game if they win. Most experts believe it is okay to let children win sometimes. After all, if they never win, they will lose interest and will not want to compete. But be aware that kids who always beat Mom and Dad may have a tough time when they start playing games with friends. So it’s important to teach children the art of losing, too.
Do not Allow Children to be Sore Losers
By the age of 5, kids should know that they cannot win all the time.
Remember that your behavior – and that of older siblings – will serve as a model. If a big sister is allowed to kick the board when she is feeling frustrated, the younger child will learn to do the same.
One way to de-emphasize winning is to focus on improving skills. Help your child set several personal, realistic goals within the game. This way, if she meets her goals, she wins, regardless of the outcome.
How to Make Competition Even
Modify the rules to make the competition more even and interesting for all players. For example, let a child start out with a 100-point lead in Rummy 500 or require adults to play sports with their nondominant hand. Nearly any game can be handicapped to make it fun for players of various ages and abilities.
The older and more skilled children become, the lesser parents need to handicap. For example, you can let yourself play basketball harder and harder as your son grows taller and better.
Give kids an advantage at the start of the game so you can play harder throughout.
Read more...
But when is a child ready to handle competition and games with formal rules? It depends mainly on the developmental stage of the child, For example, a 4-year-old who is intrigued by Chinese checkers may enjoy simply by taking turns arranging the marbles by color on the board. A 3-year-old who has watched her older siblings play dominoes might like to see how many she can stack in to a tower.
Change the Rules to Suit Younger Kids
Starting around age 4 or 5, kids are capable of following simple rules, though many board games are still too complicated. Most children in this age range are not really able to strategize.
If necessary, you may change some rules of the game to suit your child’s abilities and age.
Regardless of your child’s age, keep in mind that what matters most in playing with your kids is that you have bonded and have fun together. Give your child undivided attention when you play a game together, choosing a game you have time to finish, and stopping if your child is not having fun.
Of course, children are most likely to enjoy the game if they win. Most experts believe it is okay to let children win sometimes. After all, if they never win, they will lose interest and will not want to compete. But be aware that kids who always beat Mom and Dad may have a tough time when they start playing games with friends. So it’s important to teach children the art of losing, too.
Do not Allow Children to be Sore Losers
By the age of 5, kids should know that they cannot win all the time.
Remember that your behavior – and that of older siblings – will serve as a model. If a big sister is allowed to kick the board when she is feeling frustrated, the younger child will learn to do the same.
One way to de-emphasize winning is to focus on improving skills. Help your child set several personal, realistic goals within the game. This way, if she meets her goals, she wins, regardless of the outcome.
How to Make Competition Even
Modify the rules to make the competition more even and interesting for all players. For example, let a child start out with a 100-point lead in Rummy 500 or require adults to play sports with their nondominant hand. Nearly any game can be handicapped to make it fun for players of various ages and abilities.
The older and more skilled children become, the lesser parents need to handicap. For example, you can let yourself play basketball harder and harder as your son grows taller and better.
Give kids an advantage at the start of the game so you can play harder throughout.
Read more...
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