Terri spanks her kids on the hand. But that’s when her kids go to the extreme. The last time she smacked her second daughter's open palm was when she disobeyed her order to stop unraveling her older sister's crochet project . . . for the fifth time.
She swears, it was enough to send me to the loony bin. But when you're exhausted from doing chores, worrying about having to pay the bills, and trying to keep your sanity, well, you're bound to snap and use the hand when your children defy you over and over in a span of sixty minutes or less.
Still, spanking when doled out frequently is just as destructive as the behavior you abhor in your child. Studies show that the more often a child is spanked, the greater is the risk of childhood aggression and other antisocial behaviors such as lying, cheating and bullying. Children who are raised with spankings are less likely to learn right from wrong, and are more likely to misbehave behind their parent's backs.
There are other ways to discipline your child without resorting to spanking. Here are some of them:
1. Be firm and be kind. A child is more likely to hear what you're saying if you use a neutral tone.
2. Pause. There's nothing wrong with saying: "I'm too angry to deal with this now. We'll talk about it later."
3. Teach your kids. Instead of punishing a child for misbehaving, think in terms of teaching him to behave. "I don't like it when you leave your skateboard in the front hall. Next time, please put it in the mudroom. How can I help you remember?"
4. Be positive. Instead of saying, "How many times do I need to ask you to brush your teeth?" Say, "Go brush your teeth and let me know when you've finished so I can tuck you in."
5. Give explanations, not threats. By giving your child a brief explanation of why she needs to do as she's told, you give her a reason to behave.
6. Refuse to get angry. Instead of focusing on your child's misbehavior and working yourself into lather, think of each conflict as an opportunity to guide and direct your child.
7. Give incentives. Inspire your child to cooperate with phrases like, "It's time to go. Why don't you go down the slide one more time and then let's hustle. I want to get home in time to make cookies."
8. Be flexible. If your little one asks, "Can I just finish watching this show before we go?", be reasonable. If you have the time to spare, make room for your child's requests. This is a great way for kids to learn about the art of negotiation.
9. Drop out of power struggles. Nothing is as frustrating or less productive as having a showdown with your little one. Invite your child to cooperate by saying something like, "I've got a problem. I want you to wear a clean shirt and you insist on wearing the same old one every day. How can we solve this problem?" Your child is more likely to cooperate if he comes up with the solution.
10. Be smart. Parents will often deal with problems in a set manner, even if their approach isn't helping. If what you're doing isn't working, find a more effective way to handle the problem. Tip: It's much easier to change your approach than it is to change your child. Ask yourself, "What can I do differently that will inspire a better reaction from my child?"
TIP: Remember these three important rules about punishment:
• Don't assign a punishment when you're angry.
• Don't use punishment as revenge.
• A more severe punishment is not necessarily a better one.
Read more...
How to Find the Right Tutor for Your Child
Brace yourself. Your child's teacher has just written in the school diary that your child will need extra tutoring. Okay, so you already know that part. The hard part is finding the right tutor for your child.
A noted educator acknowledges that each family has unique needs, and tutors have many degrees of know-how and caring. So it is important to know what you want, then thoroughly investigate the skill, experience, commitment and personality of the tutor.
Know your goals
Ask yourself or your child's teacher:
1. What level of help do we need? Does my child need homework help, intensive remediation, or something in between?
2. What areas do we want to see the tutor improve: better scores in one subject; improved general skills (math, reading, science); study skills; motivation?
3. What do I know about my child's learning style? Does he learn best by reading, listening, moving, touching? Does he do better with men or women? Does he need lots of nurturing or a firm hand? What motivates and interests him?
4. How much time and money can you devote to tutoring? Don't skimp, but be honest with yourself before you start.
Test your options
1. Check credentials carefully. Ask the tutor the following questions to see how well their skills match your child's needs:
• What is your educational background? If the tutor will work on chemistry, she should have at least a college minor in chemistry. A different education is needed to teach first-grade reading.
• Are you certified to teach this subject area? Certified teachers have had to take plenty of "how to" education classes and have been supervised in student teaching by a mentor teacher. They not only know the subject matter, but they also know many ways to convey the material to an individual student.
• What type of teaching experience do you have? Look for a tutor who has worked with students similar in age and ability to your child.
2. Meet with several candidates. Include your child and ask plenty of questions:
• How do you evaluate each student's needs? Find out whether the tutor will use standardized tests, school reports, or other forms of evaluation to discover your child's strengths and weaknesses.
• How long do you think you will need to prepare the lessons? Keep in mind that difficult subject matters will take longer to prepare, so expect to pay more for the extra preparation time.
• What tutoring methods do you use? A skilled tutor will do more than just answer questions and do problems with students. He will assess your child's strengths and weaknesses, prepare individualized materials and use "hands-on" materials wherever possible. He will work hand-in-hand with the classroom teacher, and most of all, give your child a "can-do" attitude and lots of positive reinforcement.
• What do you expect from me? Good tutors need a family's cooperation. They need parents to contact classroom teachers and ask for cooperation in making tutoring a success: a copy of the textbook they use; a syllabus of their class or subject; any extra worksheets they have that might facilitate the tutorial process.
• How do you motivate your students? Think about what motivates your child, and seek a tutor who uses these methods.
• What hours are you available? This question often makes or breaks a deal. You may have found the perfect tutor, but if she doesn't fit your schedule you're out of luck.
Partner for results
Watch how your child relates to the tutor. Sit in on part of a session if possible. Your child must be comfortable, if you want to see success.
Monitor progress. Ask for feedback from your child, and see if your child's grade gradually improves. If, after several sessions, you don't see improvement or you feel a negative attitude in your child, move on to another tutor.
Finding — and keeping — a good tutor involves some work on your part. But then isn't your child worth all the help you can give?
Read more...
A noted educator acknowledges that each family has unique needs, and tutors have many degrees of know-how and caring. So it is important to know what you want, then thoroughly investigate the skill, experience, commitment and personality of the tutor.
Know your goals
Ask yourself or your child's teacher:
1. What level of help do we need? Does my child need homework help, intensive remediation, or something in between?
2. What areas do we want to see the tutor improve: better scores in one subject; improved general skills (math, reading, science); study skills; motivation?
3. What do I know about my child's learning style? Does he learn best by reading, listening, moving, touching? Does he do better with men or women? Does he need lots of nurturing or a firm hand? What motivates and interests him?
4. How much time and money can you devote to tutoring? Don't skimp, but be honest with yourself before you start.
Test your options
1. Check credentials carefully. Ask the tutor the following questions to see how well their skills match your child's needs:
• What is your educational background? If the tutor will work on chemistry, she should have at least a college minor in chemistry. A different education is needed to teach first-grade reading.
• Are you certified to teach this subject area? Certified teachers have had to take plenty of "how to" education classes and have been supervised in student teaching by a mentor teacher. They not only know the subject matter, but they also know many ways to convey the material to an individual student.
• What type of teaching experience do you have? Look for a tutor who has worked with students similar in age and ability to your child.
2. Meet with several candidates. Include your child and ask plenty of questions:
• How do you evaluate each student's needs? Find out whether the tutor will use standardized tests, school reports, or other forms of evaluation to discover your child's strengths and weaknesses.
• How long do you think you will need to prepare the lessons? Keep in mind that difficult subject matters will take longer to prepare, so expect to pay more for the extra preparation time.
• What tutoring methods do you use? A skilled tutor will do more than just answer questions and do problems with students. He will assess your child's strengths and weaknesses, prepare individualized materials and use "hands-on" materials wherever possible. He will work hand-in-hand with the classroom teacher, and most of all, give your child a "can-do" attitude and lots of positive reinforcement.
• What do you expect from me? Good tutors need a family's cooperation. They need parents to contact classroom teachers and ask for cooperation in making tutoring a success: a copy of the textbook they use; a syllabus of their class or subject; any extra worksheets they have that might facilitate the tutorial process.
• How do you motivate your students? Think about what motivates your child, and seek a tutor who uses these methods.
• What hours are you available? This question often makes or breaks a deal. You may have found the perfect tutor, but if she doesn't fit your schedule you're out of luck.
Partner for results
Watch how your child relates to the tutor. Sit in on part of a session if possible. Your child must be comfortable, if you want to see success.
Monitor progress. Ask for feedback from your child, and see if your child's grade gradually improves. If, after several sessions, you don't see improvement or you feel a negative attitude in your child, move on to another tutor.
Finding — and keeping — a good tutor involves some work on your part. But then isn't your child worth all the help you can give?
Read more...
Is Sex Education Important for Children?
Sex education classes in school are not immediately known in detail by parents. This means that there is absolutely no way parents can control, or even find out what their children are being taught about sex unless they sit in the classroom or when their teenage child asks them to buy a condom or IUD to be brought to class as part of their homework.
Sex education in schools has never been shown to reduce the growing problem of teen pregnancy or abortion. In fact, in the US, data shows the opposite: a federal funding for sex education programs increases, so do the rates of teen pregnancies and abortions. This proves that the contraceptive mentality encourages the youth to become promiscuous.
Children do not need sex education, they need chastity education. Kids need to learn how to say no and why saying no is in their best interest - physically, emotionally and spiritually. Sexuality involves more than birth control pills. The school sends the wrong message to students when their sex education courses are mere “how to do it and how not to get caught” lessons.
There is no such thing as “value-free” sex education. When anything more than the biology is taught, someone’s values are going to be presented. Telling students to “make up your on mind” tells them there are no standards to go by. Telling students it is “best to say ‘no’, but if you are going to be sexually active, be protected” send them the message that the teacher does not really expect them to control themselves. Presenting birth control without saying it is wrong for them to use it tells the students the teacher does not think it is wrong.
The best lesson in sex parents can provide their children are the love and respect hey show for each other. Parents convey attitudes and values about life and sexuality as they interact with their children each day. That is why parents must always be available tot heir children to reinforce sound values, answer questions and give direction.
In the end, parents’ commitment as husband and wife, and the love and respect they show for one another, spell out the message that sex is purely physical; but love embraces both body and soul.
Read more...
Sex education in schools has never been shown to reduce the growing problem of teen pregnancy or abortion. In fact, in the US, data shows the opposite: a federal funding for sex education programs increases, so do the rates of teen pregnancies and abortions. This proves that the contraceptive mentality encourages the youth to become promiscuous.
Children do not need sex education, they need chastity education. Kids need to learn how to say no and why saying no is in their best interest - physically, emotionally and spiritually. Sexuality involves more than birth control pills. The school sends the wrong message to students when their sex education courses are mere “how to do it and how not to get caught” lessons.
There is no such thing as “value-free” sex education. When anything more than the biology is taught, someone’s values are going to be presented. Telling students to “make up your on mind” tells them there are no standards to go by. Telling students it is “best to say ‘no’, but if you are going to be sexually active, be protected” send them the message that the teacher does not really expect them to control themselves. Presenting birth control without saying it is wrong for them to use it tells the students the teacher does not think it is wrong.
The best lesson in sex parents can provide their children are the love and respect hey show for each other. Parents convey attitudes and values about life and sexuality as they interact with their children each day. That is why parents must always be available tot heir children to reinforce sound values, answer questions and give direction.
In the end, parents’ commitment as husband and wife, and the love and respect they show for one another, spell out the message that sex is purely physical; but love embraces both body and soul.
Read more...
9 Family-Friendly Summer Destinations
Summer means fun and travel for the whole family. It is also a time to go places with the kids. The following are nine excellent family-friendly summer destinations.
1. Theme parks – Nothing beats the fun and excitement found in theme parks. It is a place to go picnicking, and riding dizzying rides of roller coaster, ferris wheels, octopus and other carnival rides. It is also a great place to keep cool this summer.
2. Nature camp trips – Nature camps are wonderful places for families. They blend learning and fun, teaching adults and kids about the natural world through a variety of age-appropriate activities. Highlights include nature hikes, bird-watching expeditions, wildflower walks, cultural and historical field trips, and other activities, all customized for 3-year-olds, 80-year-olds, and everyone in between.
3. Mall trips – Cash constraints? No problem. You and your family can still enjoy kid-friendly destinations with minimal costs. All you have to is plan a mall rip (city trip). A mall trip in the city is a terrific destination for families with infants. Most are stroller-friendly (or you can opt for a backpack carrier), so your baby can tag along with you and have a bottle or even sleep while you are exploring. Take advantage while your child is still fairly portable. You can go window shopping or attend mall events with your kids – all under the comfort of an air-conditioned building. And there is practically no entrance fee to worry about.
4. Zoos – Zoos continue to lure curious kids and adults. It gives first-hand experience about exotic animals and birds. It always thrills kids to hear and see giraffes, elephants, lions, alligators, tigers, etc. And what is more, it is very affordable.
5. Museums – If you are short of cash, you still can go to kid-friendly places and have some great time. You could take the whole family to your local museum. The children will learn about your early culture and history. A family visit to your museum will surely instill the sense of patriotism in the kids, plus, it will expand you and your children’s knowledge about your country.
6. Beaches – Of course, there is always the magic of beaches. The soothing warmth of the sun, a balmy sea breeze, the lull of the waves, nothing offers a more relaxing vacation for the entire family, no matter how young or old, than the beach. Children can amuse themselves for hours. There is a sandbox that does not quit, water to splash in, shells to collect, and tide pools to explore. Parents find keeping watch over their little ones a pleasure with the sun above and sand underfoot. Old time favorite beaches abound in the country.
7. Resorts and pools – For those who cannot bear the salt, the waves, and the hot summer sun on the beach, you have other options. You can go to a swimming pool of your choice together with your family. For a very small entrance fee, you can already enjoy the waters under the soothing shades of trees. As an added bonus, these pay resorts have pools designed especially for kids so everybody could have fun together.
8. Historical landmarks – Aside from the malls, you can take your family to historical landmarks. It is a great place to explore or simply while away the time with the kids.
9. Cruises – Cruises have the right ingredients for hassle-fee family vacations: all-inclusive prices, safe environments, plentiful activities for kids and adults, and stops at a variety of colorful destinations.
Read more...
1. Theme parks – Nothing beats the fun and excitement found in theme parks. It is a place to go picnicking, and riding dizzying rides of roller coaster, ferris wheels, octopus and other carnival rides. It is also a great place to keep cool this summer.
2. Nature camp trips – Nature camps are wonderful places for families. They blend learning and fun, teaching adults and kids about the natural world through a variety of age-appropriate activities. Highlights include nature hikes, bird-watching expeditions, wildflower walks, cultural and historical field trips, and other activities, all customized for 3-year-olds, 80-year-olds, and everyone in between.
3. Mall trips – Cash constraints? No problem. You and your family can still enjoy kid-friendly destinations with minimal costs. All you have to is plan a mall rip (city trip). A mall trip in the city is a terrific destination for families with infants. Most are stroller-friendly (or you can opt for a backpack carrier), so your baby can tag along with you and have a bottle or even sleep while you are exploring. Take advantage while your child is still fairly portable. You can go window shopping or attend mall events with your kids – all under the comfort of an air-conditioned building. And there is practically no entrance fee to worry about.
4. Zoos – Zoos continue to lure curious kids and adults. It gives first-hand experience about exotic animals and birds. It always thrills kids to hear and see giraffes, elephants, lions, alligators, tigers, etc. And what is more, it is very affordable.
5. Museums – If you are short of cash, you still can go to kid-friendly places and have some great time. You could take the whole family to your local museum. The children will learn about your early culture and history. A family visit to your museum will surely instill the sense of patriotism in the kids, plus, it will expand you and your children’s knowledge about your country.
6. Beaches – Of course, there is always the magic of beaches. The soothing warmth of the sun, a balmy sea breeze, the lull of the waves, nothing offers a more relaxing vacation for the entire family, no matter how young or old, than the beach. Children can amuse themselves for hours. There is a sandbox that does not quit, water to splash in, shells to collect, and tide pools to explore. Parents find keeping watch over their little ones a pleasure with the sun above and sand underfoot. Old time favorite beaches abound in the country.
7. Resorts and pools – For those who cannot bear the salt, the waves, and the hot summer sun on the beach, you have other options. You can go to a swimming pool of your choice together with your family. For a very small entrance fee, you can already enjoy the waters under the soothing shades of trees. As an added bonus, these pay resorts have pools designed especially for kids so everybody could have fun together.
8. Historical landmarks – Aside from the malls, you can take your family to historical landmarks. It is a great place to explore or simply while away the time with the kids.
9. Cruises – Cruises have the right ingredients for hassle-fee family vacations: all-inclusive prices, safe environments, plentiful activities for kids and adults, and stops at a variety of colorful destinations.
Read more...
How to Guide Your Child in Choosing College
It's already the second half of the year and your child is not yet done with his or her college applications. You're hoping your kid gets into such-and-such a university because that's where members of the clan have been studying for the last five generations and where half the men in the family gained fame and popularity for joining the varsity basketball team.
Whatever the reasons for zeroing in on a particular college, ask your child and yourself if it is indeed the right college. Don't get carried away by family tradition or prestige. Your child will be studying in that institution for the next four years so you better think it over well. Otherwise, your kid might want to transfer schools before the end of freshman year. While you can guide him or her through several options, in the end, it's his or her decision.
Here are some things for the senior high school student to consider when choosing a college:
1. Size. College comes in all sizes, from a school that enrolls only a few hundred students to schools which can enroll thousands. Which one is better? Well, that depends on you and what you're comfortable with. Did you go to a small high school or a large one? Did you like the size of your high school? Did you grow up in a city or a rural area? Do you like being in places where everybody knows you, or do you like the anonymity of a crowd?
2. Type. All colleges are not the same. Some have large graduate programs and devote much of their time and resources to research. Others enroll only undergraduates and focus their attention on teaching and learning. Some schools have a specialty in one specific area, like students a broad education. Other differences include whether schools are single sex or coed, if they have a religious affiliation, and whether they are public or private.
3. Location. If you have always lived in the suburbs, choosing an urban campus can be an adventure. But after a week of urban noise, dirt, and rude people, will you long for a grassy campus and open space? On the other hand, if you are used to the suburbs and mall life and choose a college in a rural area, will you run screaming into the Student Center some night looking for noise, lights, and people? Think about where you grew up and how much of a change you want from that when you go to college.
4. Distance from Home. Closely tied to location is the issue of how far from home you want to be. For some people who will be boarding, going to college is a chance to explore a totally different part of the country. For others, they want to make sure they can have dinner with their family once a week, or go home to do their laundry. When you decide how far you want to be from home, think about how likely you are to get homesick, and how much money you can afford to spend in travel. The farther you are from home, the less often you'll be able to visit. On the other hand, with e-mail and cell phones, you can still feel close to them.
5. Your Gut Feeling. Trust your instincts. If a place feels right, that's important. Similarly, if it just feels wrong, no matter who wants you to go there or how good it looks on paper, it probably is. College is a very personal choice, and after considering all the other objective factors, the fact of the matter is that it comes down to you. Visit colleges you're interested in, and see how you feel walking around their campuses. Could you imagine yourself going to school there? Once you find a few places that you like, you'll be well on your way to finding the college that's right for you.
Good luck, happy hunting!
Read more...
Whatever the reasons for zeroing in on a particular college, ask your child and yourself if it is indeed the right college. Don't get carried away by family tradition or prestige. Your child will be studying in that institution for the next four years so you better think it over well. Otherwise, your kid might want to transfer schools before the end of freshman year. While you can guide him or her through several options, in the end, it's his or her decision.
Here are some things for the senior high school student to consider when choosing a college:
1. Size. College comes in all sizes, from a school that enrolls only a few hundred students to schools which can enroll thousands. Which one is better? Well, that depends on you and what you're comfortable with. Did you go to a small high school or a large one? Did you like the size of your high school? Did you grow up in a city or a rural area? Do you like being in places where everybody knows you, or do you like the anonymity of a crowd?
2. Type. All colleges are not the same. Some have large graduate programs and devote much of their time and resources to research. Others enroll only undergraduates and focus their attention on teaching and learning. Some schools have a specialty in one specific area, like students a broad education. Other differences include whether schools are single sex or coed, if they have a religious affiliation, and whether they are public or private.
3. Location. If you have always lived in the suburbs, choosing an urban campus can be an adventure. But after a week of urban noise, dirt, and rude people, will you long for a grassy campus and open space? On the other hand, if you are used to the suburbs and mall life and choose a college in a rural area, will you run screaming into the Student Center some night looking for noise, lights, and people? Think about where you grew up and how much of a change you want from that when you go to college.
4. Distance from Home. Closely tied to location is the issue of how far from home you want to be. For some people who will be boarding, going to college is a chance to explore a totally different part of the country. For others, they want to make sure they can have dinner with their family once a week, or go home to do their laundry. When you decide how far you want to be from home, think about how likely you are to get homesick, and how much money you can afford to spend in travel. The farther you are from home, the less often you'll be able to visit. On the other hand, with e-mail and cell phones, you can still feel close to them.
5. Your Gut Feeling. Trust your instincts. If a place feels right, that's important. Similarly, if it just feels wrong, no matter who wants you to go there or how good it looks on paper, it probably is. College is a very personal choice, and after considering all the other objective factors, the fact of the matter is that it comes down to you. Visit colleges you're interested in, and see how you feel walking around their campuses. Could you imagine yourself going to school there? Once you find a few places that you like, you'll be well on your way to finding the college that's right for you.
Good luck, happy hunting!
Read more...
How to Keep Your Kids Away from Drugs
Fortunately for the many parents seeking help, much is now known about preventing drug abuse. What follows is the latest and best information on what you can do to protect your child.
• Early steps. A parent's actions even before a child's birth are critical to helping that child stay off drugs in later years. Drugs, including nicotine and alcohol, can cross the placental barrier and damage a fetus as early as three weeks after conception. And some research suggests that babies born to addicted mothers may be at higher risk of addiction later in their lives.
In addition, experts agree that loving attention is important to developing lifelong self-worth — and that lack of self-worth is a major reason for drug use. Long before your children are ready for school, establish family guidelines for behavior: honesty, fairness, and respect for others and for the law.
• First lessons. As soon as they're old enough to understand, teach your children that some products found around the house, including household cleaners, aerosols and medicines, can be poisonous. Drill it into your kids: Don't ever swallow anything new without talking to daddy or mommy first."
• Examples at home. Children five to nine years old still learn mainly by experience. They can slide from fact to fantasy and back again without even realizing it. What they see, however, is very real to them. Though teachers often achieve hero-like status, it's still what children encounter at home that counts the most.
• Decision-making. Now is when to begin teaching your children to make decisions on their own, and to impart "don't-be-a-follower" lessons. Parents should begin to teach their kids about peer pressure before they're seven, say experts. They have to be made to understand that just because someone tells them to do something, that doesn't mean it's the right thing to do. If they're in doubt, kids should ask someone they trust.
• Monitor activities. Parents whose children are already teenagers should always have an idea of where the kids are going and who they'll be with.
• Lots of love. Adolescence is probably the most vulnerable period in a child's life, a time when peer pressure hits him with a vengeance. Their clothes are bizarre, their music funky. Hormones are bubbling and kids this age are curious about everything — and willing to try just about everything they think will make them look "cool."
However, kids at this age often feel held back by overprotective parents and teachers. This can create rebellious teens.
• Factual advice. An expert believes that mature kids need facts while immature kids need a balance between facts and penalties if they are going to resist the peer pressure and temptations around them. Most experts agree, however, that scare tactics are not the way to go.
• Setting limits. Many young people use drugs simply because their friends do. To reinforce a child's ability to resist, get to know your child's friends and their parents, and as already mentioned, monitor his or her whereabouts.
Read more...
• Early steps. A parent's actions even before a child's birth are critical to helping that child stay off drugs in later years. Drugs, including nicotine and alcohol, can cross the placental barrier and damage a fetus as early as three weeks after conception. And some research suggests that babies born to addicted mothers may be at higher risk of addiction later in their lives.
In addition, experts agree that loving attention is important to developing lifelong self-worth — and that lack of self-worth is a major reason for drug use. Long before your children are ready for school, establish family guidelines for behavior: honesty, fairness, and respect for others and for the law.
• First lessons. As soon as they're old enough to understand, teach your children that some products found around the house, including household cleaners, aerosols and medicines, can be poisonous. Drill it into your kids: Don't ever swallow anything new without talking to daddy or mommy first."
• Examples at home. Children five to nine years old still learn mainly by experience. They can slide from fact to fantasy and back again without even realizing it. What they see, however, is very real to them. Though teachers often achieve hero-like status, it's still what children encounter at home that counts the most.
• Decision-making. Now is when to begin teaching your children to make decisions on their own, and to impart "don't-be-a-follower" lessons. Parents should begin to teach their kids about peer pressure before they're seven, say experts. They have to be made to understand that just because someone tells them to do something, that doesn't mean it's the right thing to do. If they're in doubt, kids should ask someone they trust.
• Monitor activities. Parents whose children are already teenagers should always have an idea of where the kids are going and who they'll be with.
• Lots of love. Adolescence is probably the most vulnerable period in a child's life, a time when peer pressure hits him with a vengeance. Their clothes are bizarre, their music funky. Hormones are bubbling and kids this age are curious about everything — and willing to try just about everything they think will make them look "cool."
However, kids at this age often feel held back by overprotective parents and teachers. This can create rebellious teens.
• Factual advice. An expert believes that mature kids need facts while immature kids need a balance between facts and penalties if they are going to resist the peer pressure and temptations around them. Most experts agree, however, that scare tactics are not the way to go.
• Setting limits. Many young people use drugs simply because their friends do. To reinforce a child's ability to resist, get to know your child's friends and their parents, and as already mentioned, monitor his or her whereabouts.
Read more...
15 Warning Signs That Your Child is Abusing Drugs
There are a number of reasons a child may be initiated into the use of drugs, but one of these is the parents' lack of basic education about them. Many are unaware of the prevalence of illicit substance and the horrible risks their children face.
Sniffing dangers
Now is also when kids begin to encounter inhalants: pressurized aerosol products such as paint and cooking sprays or model glue. Kids inhale these volatile substances in order to experience a high. The fact that the momentary "buzz" can cause permanent brain damage, even death doesn't occur to these youngsters. Parents should try to explain to their children in very simple terms about the dangers of such inhalants and that they must not mess with the stuff even just out of curiosity. Kids in their teens are increasingly tuned in to TV, movies and music that bombard them with images of drug and alcohol use. You should therefore try to keep tabs on what your children watch and listen to.
Most experts agree that it's all right if your kids see you having an occasional drink. But if they see you using alcohol as a regular coping mechanism, it's not.
What to Look For
Here are some warning signs that a teen may be using drugs:
• Drop in academic performance.
• Lack of interest in grooming.
• Change in style of dress.
• Withdrawal, isolation, depression, fatigue.
• Aggressive, rebellious behavior.
• Excessive influence by peers.
• Hostility and lack of cooperativeness.
• Deteriorating relationships with family.
• Change in friends.
• Loss of interest in hobbies and sports.
• Sudden change in musical tastes.
• Stealing.
• Change in eating or sleeping habits.
• Evidence of drugs and paraphernalia: pipes, rolling papers, medicine bottles, eye drops, lighters.
• Physical changes: red eyes, runny nose not due to colds, coughing, wheezing, nausea, bags under eyes, frequent sore throats, bruises from falls.
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Sniffing dangers
Now is also when kids begin to encounter inhalants: pressurized aerosol products such as paint and cooking sprays or model glue. Kids inhale these volatile substances in order to experience a high. The fact that the momentary "buzz" can cause permanent brain damage, even death doesn't occur to these youngsters. Parents should try to explain to their children in very simple terms about the dangers of such inhalants and that they must not mess with the stuff even just out of curiosity. Kids in their teens are increasingly tuned in to TV, movies and music that bombard them with images of drug and alcohol use. You should therefore try to keep tabs on what your children watch and listen to.
Most experts agree that it's all right if your kids see you having an occasional drink. But if they see you using alcohol as a regular coping mechanism, it's not.
What to Look For
Here are some warning signs that a teen may be using drugs:
• Drop in academic performance.
• Lack of interest in grooming.
• Change in style of dress.
• Withdrawal, isolation, depression, fatigue.
• Aggressive, rebellious behavior.
• Excessive influence by peers.
• Hostility and lack of cooperativeness.
• Deteriorating relationships with family.
• Change in friends.
• Loss of interest in hobbies and sports.
• Sudden change in musical tastes.
• Stealing.
• Change in eating or sleeping habits.
• Evidence of drugs and paraphernalia: pipes, rolling papers, medicine bottles, eye drops, lighters.
• Physical changes: red eyes, runny nose not due to colds, coughing, wheezing, nausea, bags under eyes, frequent sore throats, bruises from falls.
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7 Ways on Handling a Temperamental Child
Some children are born with very strong and intimidating personalities coupled with a ferocious temper. These children, while they may not necessarily be the school bullies, will not back down when teased or challenged to a fight. They are quick to explode and can't be reasoned with. Negotiating with them to calm down and engage in a proper discussion is always futile. They are surely to the point of discouraging other kids from wanting to be friends with them. They don't adapt easily to change and display tantrums, not minding if other people are witnessing their irascibility.
According to research, some children (approximately 10-20%) are born with "difficult temperament." Traits include: high, often impulsive activity level; extra sensitive to sensory stimulation; overwhelmed by change in routines and new experiences; intense, inflexible reactions; easily distracted or incredibly focused; adapt slowly to change, not able to calm themselves well; irregular biological rhythms, such as hunger/sleep schedules; rapid, intense, mood swings resulting in acting out or withdrawing completely.
Effective parents develop attitudes, guidance strategies, and communication skills that work with, rather than against, a child's temperament. Difficult children can learn to be self-controlled, cooperative, and adaptable. Here are several tips:
• Provide the fundamentals. Children who are well-nourished with enough sleep and the right foods cope best. Give children personalized time, attention, and affection daily.
• Focus on strengths; look for the positive. Voice your appreciation whenever a child is flexible, positive, or adaptable.
• Avoid name-calling and labeling kids as "hyper," "problem child" or "trouble maker." Labels chip away at self-esteem.
• Be patient, empathize, and interpret temperament traits. Try: "It's hard for you to sit still a long time. Hold on, we'll be at the park soon. See how many stop signs you can find." Or "It's frustrating adjusting to home after visiting with grandpa. Remember, first you brush your teeth, take a bath, and then we read a story before bed."
• Maintain a predictable schedule. Warn children of changes in routine so they aren't caught off guard. "Today, we're taking care of your cousin Tony because his par¬ents are out of town."
•Keep your home calm and predictable. Loud television, music, or family arguments will stress any child, but especially those with difficult temperament.
•Create safe, cozy and calming spaces in your home where a child can relax or regain gain control when upset or over-stimulated. Remind him/her of relaxing things as such as coping strategies, a favorite stuffed animal, toy, music, or game.
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According to research, some children (approximately 10-20%) are born with "difficult temperament." Traits include: high, often impulsive activity level; extra sensitive to sensory stimulation; overwhelmed by change in routines and new experiences; intense, inflexible reactions; easily distracted or incredibly focused; adapt slowly to change, not able to calm themselves well; irregular biological rhythms, such as hunger/sleep schedules; rapid, intense, mood swings resulting in acting out or withdrawing completely.
Effective parents develop attitudes, guidance strategies, and communication skills that work with, rather than against, a child's temperament. Difficult children can learn to be self-controlled, cooperative, and adaptable. Here are several tips:
• Provide the fundamentals. Children who are well-nourished with enough sleep and the right foods cope best. Give children personalized time, attention, and affection daily.
• Focus on strengths; look for the positive. Voice your appreciation whenever a child is flexible, positive, or adaptable.
• Avoid name-calling and labeling kids as "hyper," "problem child" or "trouble maker." Labels chip away at self-esteem.
• Be patient, empathize, and interpret temperament traits. Try: "It's hard for you to sit still a long time. Hold on, we'll be at the park soon. See how many stop signs you can find." Or "It's frustrating adjusting to home after visiting with grandpa. Remember, first you brush your teeth, take a bath, and then we read a story before bed."
• Maintain a predictable schedule. Warn children of changes in routine so they aren't caught off guard. "Today, we're taking care of your cousin Tony because his par¬ents are out of town."
•Keep your home calm and predictable. Loud television, music, or family arguments will stress any child, but especially those with difficult temperament.
•Create safe, cozy and calming spaces in your home where a child can relax or regain gain control when upset or over-stimulated. Remind him/her of relaxing things as such as coping strategies, a favorite stuffed animal, toy, music, or game.
Read more...
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