The abilities to lose and win graciously are just two of the important skills children learn through competing. Playing games promotes qualities essential for success in life – such as risk taking, concentration, and planning strategy – so it’s important to remember that we are often teaching our kids significant lessons even while engaging in seemingly trivial games.
But when is a child ready to handle competition and games with formal rules? It depends mainly on the developmental stage of the child, For example, a 4-year-old who is intrigued by Chinese checkers may enjoy simply by taking turns arranging the marbles by color on the board. A 3-year-old who has watched her older siblings play dominoes might like to see how many she can stack in to a tower.
Change the Rules to Suit Younger Kids
Starting around age 4 or 5, kids are capable of following simple rules, though many board games are still too complicated. Most children in this age range are not really able to strategize.
If necessary, you may change some rules of the game to suit your child’s abilities and age.
Regardless of your child’s age, keep in mind that what matters most in playing with your kids is that you have bonded and have fun together. Give your child undivided attention when you play a game together, choosing a game you have time to finish, and stopping if your child is not having fun.
Of course, children are most likely to enjoy the game if they win. Most experts believe it is okay to let children win sometimes. After all, if they never win, they will lose interest and will not want to compete. But be aware that kids who always beat Mom and Dad may have a tough time when they start playing games with friends. So it’s important to teach children the art of losing, too.
Do not Allow Children to be Sore Losers
By the age of 5, kids should know that they cannot win all the time.
Remember that your behavior – and that of older siblings – will serve as a model. If a big sister is allowed to kick the board when she is feeling frustrated, the younger child will learn to do the same.
One way to de-emphasize winning is to focus on improving skills. Help your child set several personal, realistic goals within the game. This way, if she meets her goals, she wins, regardless of the outcome.
How to Make Competition Even
Modify the rules to make the competition more even and interesting for all players. For example, let a child start out with a 100-point lead in Rummy 500 or require adults to play sports with their nondominant hand. Nearly any game can be handicapped to make it fun for players of various ages and abilities.
The older and more skilled children become, the lesser parents need to handicap. For example, you can let yourself play basketball harder and harder as your son grows taller and better.
Give kids an advantage at the start of the game so you can play harder throughout.
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